Dog owners will teach their pets to do selfies.
CEO of Twin Cities Public Television, Channel Two, will receive knighthood from Queen Elizabeth for promoting British image.
The number of states approving same sex marriage will exceed the number of states in which Mitt Romney owns houses.
Michele Bachmann appears on Saint Cloud TV station KPXM accusing Stearns County building inspections department of bias for not giving her a building permit to build a church she is starting in Lake Wobegone. “ They told me the town doesn’t exist – how dumb do they think I am?”
In order to increase sales, a medical marijuana company will name its product Potsticker.
In order to attract more volunteer astronauts for the one-way mission to the planet Mars, NASA offers frequent flyer miles.
Minneapolis, occasionally called a less charming city than Saint Paul, will initiate a public relations program that claims Minneapolis streets are more confusing to drive than in Saint Paul.
Engelbretson’s Food on Lake Street will introduce a new ice cream flavor: Lutefisk.
Governor Mark Dayton, seeking to update his name, will change it to Macys.
Macy’s Store chain, seeking to acquire a more classical and traditional name, will take the name Dayton’s.
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