In mid-February 2014, Bob Roscoe and Doug Mack noticed an announcement for the Preserve Minneapolis’s February 2014 Breakfast With a Preservationist event somehow carried the 20014 date. So the pair pondered by e-mail what would be the issues in historic preservation and city planning 18,000 years from now – in 20014.
Here are their findings:
- The Guthrie Theater will finally find its true calling and will be reused as an orbiting IKEA.
- The Minneapolis Planning and Economic Development Department will re-define a “small area plan” to contain an entire solar system.
- By 20014, Minneapolis downtown skyways will be converted into human transport tubes to whisk business people around the area in milliseconds.
- 20014 Historians will read 20th century copies of the Star Tribune, and with Sid Hartman’s large amount of copy space, assume Sid was a spiritual leader and obscured his wisdom with pseudo-inane commentary.
- The U of M’s golden gopher will morph into a golden gopher robot.
- At the Preserve Minneapolis’s 20014 Breakfast With a Preservationist event, the audience will probably have Soylent Green pastries served by robots.
- Preserve Minneapolis will still call their Summer events Walking & Biking Tours—but conduct them with jetpacks and teleporting.
- The Vikings will be asking for a new planet for their space-stadium.
- Block E will still be empty and sad.
- Most coffeehouses’ upper shelves of Monin syrups will be unchanged from 2001.
- Saint Paul won’t have changed much.
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