10. RNC protesting, however much fun, is about politics not policy. Find creative ways to address policy issues. Live vicariously through the naked, bike-riding anarchist protestors chanting outside the Xcel Center but do the heavy public policy lifting yourself.
9. Stand atop the Maryland Avenue overpass bridge above I-35E with a sign reading, “Welcome visitors. Watch out for falling non-structural concrete veneer from this structurally deficient bridge.”
8. Patronize a locally-owned small business and purchase a Minnesota-made item because 68 cents of every dollar spent is recycled back into the community.
7. Since local law enforcement will be focused on the RNC, organizing a block/neighborhood watch program is in your best interest.
6. Distribute flyers reading, “35W Bridge Re-Opening Soon! Sorry for the deaths, injuries and inconvenience.”
5. Read MN2020’s ranking report then work fun facts into conversation with out of town visitors. “You’re from Louisiana? That’s great! Did you know that in 2002, Louisiana’s per capita income, $25,219, ranked 43rd in the US while Minnesota, at $33,230 was 8th? Today, your state has increased its ranking to 40th at $31,369 while Minnesota dropped to 13th place. Maybe you’ll pass us one day soon!”
4. Non-Midwestern visitors believe that we all sound like characters in the movie, “Fargo.” Don’t disappointment them but use the moment instructively: “Yah, my daughter’s 3rd grade class has thirty kids, you know, with just the one teacher. It’s those darn state funding cuts because policymakers refuse to invest in our schools. Go Vikings!”
3. Take a moment to contemplate the Mary Tyler Moore statue on Nicollet Mall. Is her tam ascending or descending? Now ask the same question about Minnesota.
2. Should you experience an injury dodging a VIP motorcade, take at least some comfort knowing that you live in the nation’s most health insured state and that those poor saps from (fill in the blank with a state of your choosing) don’t have it this good.
1. National endorsing conventions are like blizzards. They blow through, disrupting life. We hunker down, wait it out, shovel the mess, and get back to normal. Take heart; this too, shall pass.