Name: Robyn Lewis
What’s your job?
“Bartendress at Clubhouse Jäger—creating trendy new shots for people stopping by the bar on a party bus who will later barf them up. Music Writer for l’etoile mag—coming up with fancy ways to bribe peeps into attending cool events on the weekends. I believe the industry term for that is ‘PR.’ Event Coordinator/Music Booker/Party Thrower—creating musical events for drunken scenesters to flail about at.”
Other than your job, what are your claims to fame?
“Well, if you’re lucky and i’m real intoxicated, my alter ego ‘the bitchelor’ might make a special unannounced cameo…”
What’s your relationship status?
“Single…unless you’re a vegetarian, broke, wear those sock-shoe things, on parole, ride a recumbent bike or crotch rocket, have a coke nail or artsy facial hair designs, enjoy rave music, frequently say ‘real talk,’ order a Captain Diet from me at the bar, or like me back.”
Where are you most likely to be seen?
“Places with food. Places with whiskey. Places with music.”
Where are you least likely to be seen?
“Uptown, duh. Or the Zombie Pub Crawl. Or church.”
With whom are you most likely to be seen?
“The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads…”
Where were you born?
“Neeewwwwwwwwww Yorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk!” (Oprah voice)
What neighborhood do you live in?
“The best one! 13th Ave in Northeast Minneapolis.”
What’s your ride?
“If a magic carpet or broom isn’t available, my whip is a single speed fuji. Don’t steal it.”
What’s the best way to start a conversation with you?
“When I meet you, don’t forget to tell me I’ve already met you five times before and make me feel like a prick for not remembering you. Or, you could approach me the old-fashioned way—drunk text/Facebook chat me at 3 a.m. asking me why I’m still up.”
Photo courtesy Robyn Lewis