What’s your job?
“I’m a Development Support Lead. It has to do with software development. I’d tell you more but I’d rather not see your eyes glaze over.“
Other than your job, what are your claims to fame?
“I’m relatively famous on Titter. I’m not sure why. I think it’s because I’m not afraid to say ‘penis’ and then watch the spam pour in. Also, a picture of me in my bacon bra sometimes appears on the Travel Channel and was on bacontoday.com, as well as some of the creepier parts of the Internet, so sometimes I get recognized. I got a Craigslist Missed Connection from someone saying ‘I saw bacon tits at Club Jäger!’ Luckily he said I didn’t disappoint.”
What’s your relationship status?
“I’m single. Facebook says I’m engaged to Erica Strait, the lovely and talented Foxy Falafel. We’ve discussed various plans for platonic lesbianism, but don’t let that fool you. I’m definitely still waiting for the right fella. I may wear bacon, but I don’t discriminate; I’ll date vegetarians.“
Where are you most likely to be seen?
“You might see my downward dog at Corepower Yoga. I am there quite often with Liz Bastian and then we may show up at Club Jäger for Transmission for a night of dancing. I also frequent the Aster Cafe. You will often see me at restaurants because I am quite a foodie—and I despise the word ‘foodie,’ so give me a better one! My favorites being La Belle Vie and Restaurant Alma. I also make appearances at the 331, RePUBlic, and Barbette—though I am mourning the passing of the whipped truffle brie right now.”
Where are you least likely to be seen?
“The Drink. Brothers. Cowboy Slim’s. Anywhere that has a mile radius of wafting cologne smell.“
With what people are you most likely to be seen?
“You’re probably going to see me with at least one of the following: Liz Bastian, Meredith Westin, Conner McCall, and/or Ninja Biff Rose Dinette—oh wait, she’s a dog. There are a ton of other people on and off Titter that you may or may not see me with. Sometimes I’m at my vacation home in South Minneapolis with Katie and Andy Bosch and Ninja’s boyfriend Henry Axel Bosch.“
Where were you born?
“Boone, North Carolina.”
What neighborhood do you live in now?
“Lowry Hill, Minneapolis.”
What’s your ride?
“A black Surly Steamroller with some copper accents and soon to have silver fenders. Give it a pat if you see it outside of a bar. Oh, I also hate driving but I have to do it. I’ve got a Honda Civic Hybrid from 2003 with a really smooshed-up front driver’s side. Kick it if you see it outside of a bar.“
What’s the best way to start a conversation with you?
“I will talk to almost anyone who talks to me. I’m actually kind of shy sometimes but talk to me about anything and I’ll talk back. Maybe offer to buy me a whiskey if you don’t know what else to talk to me about. Or compliment my dog. She’s cute.“
Photo courtesy Nicky Stein-Grohs