Minnesota faces a coming crisis. If there were to be a zombie apocalypse, Minnesota is completely unprepared. While zombies don’t actually exist … at least as of now … we can all agree on one thing — if they were to appear, we’re in trouble.
The MN legislature needs to act immediately to stave of this possible zombie crisis.
We need constitutional amendments to prevent zombies from getting healthcare. They’ll only try to eat the brains of the medical staff anyway.
We need a constitutional amendment to prevent zombies from marrying. Marriage should definitely be limited to non-zombies of the opposite sex. Plus, gay zombies marrying sounds kind of weird.
We need a constitutional amendment prohibiting zombies from voting. Anyone who is really old or really sick should bring a certified letter proving they are not a zombie. We don’t want zombies trying to eat the brains of election day volunteers or voters.
We need a constitutional amendment to deport all zombies to Canada. Who wants them around. Seriously.
We need a constitutional amendment that allows people to shoot or decapitate zombies if they ever feel threatened by one. And don’t complain to me about the civil rights of people who dress up as zombies. Its their choice. They are choosing to risk their own lives dressing that way.
Don’t get me started on vampires…
(Photo from The Telegraph)
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