MOVIES | “The Hangover Part II”: A hungover review

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“Hey, what happened last night?”

“What do you mean?”

“The last thing I remember, we were ordering margaritas at Ruby Tuesday in Southdale.”

“Right. You had quite a few.”

“Oh, God. How many?”

“I stopped counting at seven.” 

“They were just so delicious!”

“Apparently.”

“Did we ever make it to that Hangover II screening?”

“Yeah. Sounds like you’re in the perfect shape to write the review.”

“But I can’t remember anything about the movie! I was totally blacked out.”

“Yeah, whose problem is that?”

“Listen, can you just help me remember what happened?”

“Fine. You liked it.”

“Seriously?”

“Apparently. You kept laughing.”

“Well, I was drunk.”

“True.”

“So what was the plot?”

“Same as the first one.”

“What? They were just, like…hungover again?”

“Yep.”

“And they had to find out what happened…again?”

“Again.”

“In Vegas again?”

“No, Bangkok.”

“Oh, God. I’ll bet there was a cute monkey involved.”

“Yep, a drug-dealing monkey. And a mute monk.”

“Let me guess—the mute monk got drunk.”

“Good guess!”

“Hoo boy. And I laughed?”

“Well, not at the monk. Or the monkey.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I hope I didn’t laugh at the stupid attempts at knowingly ironic humor, either.”

“Knowingly ironic?”

“Like, stuff that you’re not supposed to joke about, but they joke about it?”

“Like Asian men having small penises and Asian women having small breasts?”

“Like that.”

“No, you didn’t laugh at that either.”

“But I did laugh…sometimes?”

“Often!”

“Did I pee my pants laughing?”

“No, that came later—on my leather car seat, asshole.”

“Oh…sorry.”

“How’s your eye?”

“My…ouch! Oh, shit! What happened?”

“You don’t remember getting punched by the guy sitting behind us?”

“What?! Why?”

“He wasn’t as amused as you were at the idea of you sitting on a kid’s booster seat in the theater.”

“Oh. You know, I’d think that someone at a Hangover II screening would be in a good mood to be amused by a guy getting drunk and doing stupid things.”

“You’d think.”

“Maybe that’s just funny in the movies.”

“Or when you’re drunk.”

“Or, ideally, when you’re drunk and watching a movie about drunk people doing stupid things.”

“You did laugh.”

“Except when I got punched. That mustn’t have been funny.”

“Well, I laughed at that.”

“And…I think I have my review.”

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