Emo Senator: August primary battle extends beloved telenovela into summer sweeps


With the decision by Allen Quist to bypass a hypothetical June 2 endorsing convention in Minnesota’s Fighting First, Southern Minnesota’s most watched telenovela will be extended into the deep summer.

Already the drama is heightening, with the St. Peter area farmer importing concepts from such hit dramas as The Walking Dead. Critic Josh Moniz at the New Ulm Journal writes in Quist, Parry to fight it out in primary:

The anger generated by the promise-breaking debate even prompted both candidates to bring accusations of being unelectable at each other. Quist said Walz would eat Parry alive for his statement that he’d wait to bring troops home until the job market improved. Parry’s campaign manager Ben Golnik said Quist’s prior statements that men are genetically predisposed to be the head of households made him unable to win.

The screenwriter doubts that Tim Walz is a cannibal or a zombie, or that anyone wishes to eat Parry alive or dead. The point each side is making about each other’s baggage would have been issues without a primary. Perhaps this is why neither could make a persuasive case at the casting call at the Kato Ballroom two weeks ago.

Especially since the entertainment center wasn’t serving booze during the CD1 MNGOP convention. Beer goggles might have been helpful.

Other reviews are coming in. Mankato Free Press staff writer Mark Fischenich reports in Quist, Parry look ahead to Aug. 14 primary:

“Allen Quist has repeatedly been tried, tested and rejected in his numerous attempts to attain higher office,” Parry said in his statement.

Quist said gaffes made by Parry, including a comment that he wouldn’t bring American troops home from Afghanistan until the domestic job outlook improves, would doom him in a general election contest against Walz.

“Walz will take him to the cleaners on that,” Quist said.

Both candidates tossed out sharp criticisms of Walz on Monday, as well. But Quist said  Republicans who hope he and Parry will play nice during the coming  campaign need to remember that Parry slung the first mud.

“They need to face the facts that Parry spent the two weeks prior to the endorsing convention doing nothing but going negative and attacking me,” Quist said.

Asked if he would respond in kind during the primary campaign, Quist didn’t hesitate: “Absolutely.”

‎This battle should bring out the best of both men–for the dramatist, and the political forum at Farmfest in August where Parry, Quist and Walz will be tossed in with Byberg and Peterson from the Seventh, and whomever shows from the other congressional races in Minnesota.

Bluestem recommends strengthening oneself with local beer from Brau Brothers or Schells. it gets hot in that tent even before the politicians start talking.

Tune in for the next episode of Emo Senator for all the drama.