I’m not going to say his name. He’s a media personality, so Voldemorting him only works in his favor. Basically, a conservative student organization brought this anti-feminism guy to campus for a talk titled “CALM DOWN!! Restoring Common Sense to Feminism.” You can probably tell from the casual sexism and double exclamation points that the speakers weren’t exactly titans of scholarship. One of them, however, has become quite famous, so there was some buzz around the event. There were also multiple protest actions.
Rather than write about the guy, or the woman who spoke with him, or the specifics of the actual talk, I wanted to share a few bigger-picture thoughts. Here are a few things on my mind this evening.
Anti-feminism isn’t a big movement, but it is dangerous.
A common discussion point in situations like these is free speech. The value of anti-feminist thinkers is often wrapped up in arguments about the fundamental importance of free speech, of universities as places where differing viewpoints can have a platform, and of how critical it is for students to be open-minded and think for themselves. And that’s all well and good.
But a speaker who explicitly says that rape culture isn’t real, or that affirmative consent policies “don’t seem like that much fun” is directly contributing to the normalization of sexual assault; and that has a real impact on real people. We can argue about the precise size of the gender wage gap, and we can disagree about things like trigger warnings and safe spaces, but encouraging a room of more than 200, 20-something men to not take consent seriously crosses a very important line.
How warped does your thinking have to be that “don’t have sex with someone unless it’s clear that they really want to have sex with you” is some grand outrage? That this is seen as a “liberal” position and not just common decency speaks volumes about why sexual assault is still such a problem on college campuses and beyond.
The point here is that these people can’t be ignored away. Anti-feminism must be defeated. On a micro level, that might look like a protest, if only to let the larger community know that not everyone agrees. On a macro level, that means organizing in physical, educational and online spaces, proactively and effectively, to shift the larger culture away from that kind of thinking.
Part of the appeal of anti-feminism is that it provides a scapegoat.
According to the anti-feminist movement, men are increasingly insecure, confused, depressed or even suicidal, not because of neoliberalism commodifying every aspect of existence, or because of billionaires who keep getting richer while the rest of us struggle to get by, but because of feminism. It follows a certain adorable toddler logic: men have things, but then women want those things too, and then women get greedy and take too much, so now men have less things and they’re sad. It’s easy.
It’s worth quoting Lindy West’s piece on how so many “Men’s Rights” issues are actually things that feminism is fighting for, not against. Here’s the link (it’s in part four), plus a few excerpts:
- Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
- Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
- Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.
- Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.
- Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.
That’s just five points from the 13 that West covers, and I think it gets to an important truth about the current anti-feminist movement: it isn’t made up exclusively of misogynistic monsters (though those certainly do exist). Some of these people are just blaming the wrong thing for their legitimate problems. It’s a matter of education, empathy, and perspective. And, of course, organizing, which leads me to this last point:
Part of the power of a “defensive” protest is the “offense” it can spark.
When terrible things happen, it’s good to respond to them. “Just ignore them” is, generally, not a good tactic when it comes to things like hate speech. All of that being said, it’s important to connect the in-the-moment action with the organizations who are doing this work every day, and with the proactive efforts that are already happening.
At my school, I can tell people to check out the Women’s Center (and their Feminist Ambassador Brigade), the Gender, Sex & Public Policy Committee at Humphrey, the Aurora Center, Black Motivated Women, the Feminist Student Activist Coalition, SHE, Students for a Democratic Society, the Feminist Book Club, and the whole GWSS department just for a start (feel free to leave others in the comments). If you’re interested in gender equity work, google them and get involved.
Here’s a super down-to-earth example. When I heard about this guy coming to campus, I helped write out this little handout. The idea wasn’t necessarily to hand it to all of the hardcore MRA types who’d be there that night; it was more about providing talking points to people who are already down, and maybe (hopefully) providing a little push for the people on the fence. I think organizing is usually less about convincing the people who disagree with you and more about mobilizing the people who agree with you.
It’s about how we use “bad stuff” happening to promote and cultivate the “good stuff,” whether through taking advantage of hot button issues and writing op-eds for the paper, bringing issues up in class, or encouraging people to plug into activist networks. Because there is a lot of “good stuff” happening at my school, but all over the country too. We’re on the right side of history here; let’s keep building.
But don’t listen to me. Read books, challenge yourself, and connect with people in real life. You don’t have to agree with everything, but doing a little research on what actual, real-life feminists believe (as opposed to some anecdotal story about how some random person on Tumblr was mean) can really demystify the idea. We all benefit from the work of feminists, whether we know it or not.
This Community Voices piece originally appeared on Guante’s blog.
Start by reading Undressing Feminism, Professing Feminism and Who Stole Feminism. Then move on to everything Camille Paglia said about the world’s largest and most officially coddled hate movement. To wrap up read Nathanson and Young’s 4 of 5 books on feminist inspired misandry.
That’ll help you get back on the right side of history.
Your points are absolutely ridiculous and I had the decency to read them. Not only did you disregard Milo’s points(I assume this is him), you are using your emotions instead of hard facts.
The fact that you urge that something must be defeated shows you aren’t able to handle differing view.
Feminist never have facts, let alone hard ones, and they only have one emotion fear.
A common discussion purpose in things like these is free speech. the worth of anti-feminist thinkers is usually committed in arguments regarding the elemental importance of free speech, of universities as places wherever differing viewpoints will have a platform, and of however vital it’s for college students to be broad-minded and suppose for themselves. and that is all well and sensible.But a speaker WHO expressly says that rape culture is not real, or that affirmative consent policies “don’t look like that abundant fun” is directly conducive to the standardisation of sexual assault; which includes a real impact on real folks. we will argue regarding the precise size of the gender wage gap, and that we will disagree regarding things like trigger warnings and safe spaces– however encouraging a space of 200+ twenty-something men to not take consent seriously crosses a awfully necessary line.How crooked will your thinking need to be that “don’t eff with somebody unless it’s clear that they actually need to own sex with you” is a few grand outrage? That this can be seen as a “liberal” position and not simply common decency speaks volumes regarding why statutory offence continues to be such a haul on faculty campuses and on the far side.I have some good work experience with a taxi service kochi and my words are clearly based on what I felt through such processes in the past.
He wasn’t mocking consent but he was mocking consent classes, why do you have to lie about such thing? He said “If someone is going to rape someone they don’t wait for a second and think back at those consent classes they’ve had” How is saying there isn’t a culture that supports rape encourages rape? And the wage gap is a myth which is also a thing anti feminists get bored of because feminists keep using it to keep women victims so they can stay relevant.
The fact you used the word voldermorting excludes any capacities I am capable of when it comes to taking you seriously.
Here are the anti-feminist variations of your five excerpts
1. Anti-feminist don’t believe that feminist want men to be raped in prison. We believe that you are distracting from the issue when you exclude male prison rape victims from statistics in order to artificially make it seem that sexual assault is a woman’s issue and not a man’s. We think your idea that prison rape is caused by “rape culture” and that jokes about rape are the reason why those rapes occur is factually inaccurate and distracting from the real things that are causing this problem. Men are being systemically oppressed in the criminal justice system they receive 60 percent longer sentences then woman, private companies are making profits off of prisoners and they have lobbyist that make sure that drugs are not legalized and that men are consistently being put in jail for unjustifiable reasons. It has nothing to do with rape jokes.
2. Anti-feminist believe that the affirmative consent policy’s being advocated for by feminist are reversing innocent until proven guilty and effectively making it easier to be successful in making false rape allegations, which discredits real victims of rape and retroactively makes people rape victims when they themselves do not consider it rape, which again discredits real victims. Teaching people that they need to have a persons consent before they use there money, is not going to keep people from spending other peoples money with out there consent and the same is true of rape.
3. Anti-feminist understand that all people are unique individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses and as a result they are by definition not equal. Some people are going to be more valuable to society then others because of these unique differences. This is a part of reality and the truth about what it means to be a human being, not patriarchy.
4. Anti-feminist do not believe that seeing depression as a weakness makes men less likely to seek help. Seeing a broken leg as a weakness, which it is, does not make people not seek treatment for it, the same goes for depression. We believe that woman have more access to healthcare and mental healthcare through government programs that offer those services such as battered woman’s shelters and planned parenthood, but explicitly don’t offer them to men. Battered woman have a place to go to, battered men do not and you can’t seek out help if there is no help to be found.
5. Anti-feminist hate feminism, we don’t hate you
Toxic masculinity, male privilege, testosterone poisoning, the male gaze, manspreading, mansplaining and much more are all forms of hate speech created by feminist and the MRA and anti-feminists are the countermovement to combat that hate speech. Read more about the statistics surrounding these issues and start learning about the real problems that people face and what real men’s rights activist actually believe and you will see feminism for what it is, an ignorant movement that is getting in the way of freedom and equality.
Wow what a disgusting article. Pointing out that rape culture doesn’t exist and is one of the most brutally punished crimes in the Western world normalizes rape? Seriously??
I look forward to a future where feminism is ridiculed off the face of the planet.
Yet another article claiming that it’s all men’s fault and anyone who disagrees with a feminist are wrong without providing any evidence or even allowing people to see what he said on the subject… it’s all part of patriarchy, right?
The problem with modern feminism (or feminism in general) is that they’re irrelevant and the followers of this sexist movement know it is, so it has to invent new problems to continue infantilizing women. They were never relevant, by the way considering the middle class women who founded it wanted to be doctors and barristers like their fathers and husbands but the working class women didn’t want to go down the coal mines with theirs. Thereby giving rise to both feminists and women against feminists in one swoop. Those against, of course didn’t feel oppressed… but that’s probably internalized misogyny.
OK, so ‘in your school’ you can tell people to go to the women’s centre, feminist brigade “She” Motivated Black Women and all those other places but where do you hope to suggest that men go to help them sort out THEIR problems? They’re not allowed in any of these places are they? Maybe the men’s centres which were likely closed by demands and petitions by the women’s centres for being sexist?
I know, I’m not supposed to say misogynistic things like “what about the men” am I? Here’s the thing. if any group comprising only men is sexist then any group comprising only women is also sexist. That’s what sexism is after all.
Freedom of speech IS important, of course. Regardless of your gender, race sexuality, religion etc. It’s what allows you to post these ridiculously sexist articles. Would you rather live in a culture where you weren’t allowed to use your voice? A world where this article was deleted based solely on the fact that it doesn’t hold the same opinions as whoever didn’t like it and it’s author sent to prison? I know I’m sensationalizing here, but that’s also freedom of speech.
You diminish the idea that students start university to have their ideas challenged and their minds opened to new ideas with your sentence “That’s all well and good”. It’s NOT all well and good. It’s fundamental in the education process. It’s THE most important part of education.
Students starting an educational course DON’T have all the answers and when I was in college, I went there to learn something about a chosen subject. I didn’t go to have a safe space? I didn’t go so that the lecturers would keep me safe from dangerous thoughts and words. I went to say “This is what I believe. Teach me why I’m wrong.”
I’ve read what real life feminists believe. You can’t spend much time on the internet nowadays without finding articles like this, like the articles advocating castration, euthenization, imprisoment forced servitude of all men just because of their genders.
You can’t watch TV without seeing countless adverts and programs showing how stupid, incompetent and utterly worthless all men are and how precious, beautiful and strong all women are.
I can’t help but wonder what the world will be like in 50 or so years when strength is a ‘feminine’ trait and women are discouraged from talking about their problems the way men are today.
You’ll hear all the time about how bad female genital mutilation is (and I agree that it is) but it’s still perfectly legal to remove the foreskin of a baby’s penis without anaesthetic (because, you know, babies don’t feel pain), all because a cut penis is more attractive to women.
Women are valued for their bodies. men are valued for their wallets.
DJ Kitty, have you ever had a personal relationship with a woman who was neither a blood relative nor a sex interest? Although I do not know, I doubt it very much.
I don’t agree with the feminist platform on all issues: for example, I would never vote for any politician “just because she’s a woman” if I disagree with >50% of her political beliefs. However, I agree with feminists more often than I disagree.
I assure you that “real feminists” respect human rights, and do not support “euthanasia, castration, and forced imprisonment” of males. As you should know, if you search the internet long enough, you’ll find something supporting whatever you irrationality you want to believe. Several feminists think male circumcision is just as wrong as female genital mutilation, and some of us are married (to men!). Of note, my husband does not value primarily me for my body, and I do not value him primarily for his wallet. I think we both value one another mostly for our minds, and as human beings. If all your elective personal relationships have involved surface qualities such as personal appearance and wealth, I truly pity you.
So you literally had no logical or factual evidence to refute DJ Kitty’s post, you just emotionally attack him/her. You are a true woman.
Are you reading the same comment as me? They destroyed them. If anything, you have no contention and are instead emotionally attacking them. Jesus, delusion is more prominent than I thought.
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A prominent anti-feminist visited my school. Here’s what I learned: Nothing.
Here: when some men have committed rapes and murders of women, women and society will often collectivise male guilt. “What is it about male nature that makes them capable of this? Men must all have rape tendencies deep down”
When some women have killed their partner or children or abused them, we individualise guilt.”it is horribly mysogynistic to suggest one womans actions indicate a fault in ALL women”
On the second I would agree totally. Apparently the first is accepted ‘wisdom’
If you can’t see the problem here…