The 2013 Hornie Awards

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The 2013 East Powderhorn Critical Film Society Awards: The Nominees


On January 20, 2014, EPCFS members T.A. Wardrope and Melissa Hansen announced the nominees for the first annual Hornie Awards. The nominees were selected from motion picture programs which premiered in 2013.

While everyone on this list is certainly worthy of the honors bestowed on them, choices must be made, so the winner of each category will be announced on the conclusion of awards season, March 3, 2014. (So that we may ship their Hornie in a timely manner, a small shipping and processing fee will be charged to the recipients of the winning award.)

The Hornie Award

While it could be said that supporting the annual award season paradigm is perpetuating the illusion of ideological hegemony which the movie industry packages into what it calls “entertainment”, not to mention the implication that there is some allegiance to artistic quality in the calculus of the multiplex, the EPCFS believes that every viewer is a critic and every critic can have a voice. So, we welcome your input and may consider these ideas as something like “votes”.

Please participate in the discussion of these nominated films by including the hashtag #hornieaward in your twitter suggestions.

Best performance by an animal or pack of animals  
  • Orange Cat, Inside Lleywn Davis 
  • Baboons, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
  • Giraffe, Hangover 3 
  • Bulldog, Pacific Rim 
  • Dog, The Man of Steel
Best performance by a helicopter

 

  • Captain Phillips 
  • GI Joe: Retaliation 
  • The Wolf of Wall Street 
  • The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 
  • World War Z
Best hair

 

  • Javier Bardem, The Counselor 
  • Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle 
  • Elizabeth Banks, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 
  • John Goodman, Inside Lleywn Davis 
  • Bradley Cooper, American Hustle 
  • Christian Bale, American Hustle 
Best performance artist of Minnesota origin

 

  • Amy Adams, American Hustle 
  • Coen Brothers, Inside Lleywn Davis 
  • Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips 
  • Vince Vaughn, The Internship 
  • Bill Pohlad, Producer, 12 Years a Slave* 
  • Jessica Lange, American Horror Story 
  • Dan Bakkedahl, The Heat 

 

 

Best performance by teeth
  • Javier Bardem, The Counselor 
  • Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street 
  • James Franco, Spring Breakers
  • Fred Melamed, In a World

 

Best fight scene


  • August: Osage County* 
  • The Wolf of Wall Street 
  • Pacific Rim 
  • Elysium 
  • Only God Forgives 
  • The World’s End 

Best post credit sequence

  • Anchorman 2 
  • Iron Man 3 
  • Thor 2 
  • Wolverine
Best side boob

  • Cameron Diaz, The Counselor 
  • Amy Adams, American Hustle 
  • Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle 
  • Scarlett Johanssen, Don Jon 
Best giant monster movie that wasn’t Godzilla (1998) or Cloverfield

  • Pacific Rim 
  • The Desolation of Smaug 
  • Sharknado
  • This is the End 

Best film seen through fingers

  • Captain Phillips 
  • The Desolation of Smaug 
  • The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 
  • The Wolf of Wall Street 
  • The Conjuring 
  • Evil Dead (2013) 
  • Spring Breakers

Best fodder for commentary by Wife/SO

  • Thor 2: The Dark World 
  • The Desolation of Smaug 
  • GI Joe: Retaliation 
  • 47 Ronin 
  • Spring Breakers 

Best rich asshole performance

  • Leonardo DiCaprio, The Great Gatsby 
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
  • Robert Downey, Jr., Iron Man 3
  • Ken Marino, In a World

Best example of a franchise/genre that’s overstayed its welcome

  • Thor 2
  • World War Z 
  • The Man of Steel 
  • The Wolverine 
  • A Good Day to Die Hard 
  • Birdemic 2


Best onscreen mayhem that didn’t require a stuntman or pyrotechnics


  • August: Osage County* 
  • Gravity 
  • Star Trek: Into Darkness 
  • This is the End 
  • World War Z 
  • The Wolf of Wall Street 

Best performance by Benedict Cumberbatch

  • Star Trek: Into Darkness 
  • The Desolation of Smaug 
  • The Fifth Estate* 
  • August: Osage County* 
  • 12 Years a Slave*

Best performance by a cast member from The Wire

  • Idris Elba/Stringer Bell, Pacific Rim 
  • Idris Elba/Stringer Bell, Mandela, Long Walk To Freedom* 
  • Michael K. Williams/Omar Little, 12 Years a Slave* 
  • Wendell Edward Pierce/Detective Bunk Moreland, Parker * 
  • Andre Royo/Bubbles,The Spectacular Now* 
  • Michael Bakari Jordan/Wallace, Fruitvale Station* 
  • Lance Reddick/Cedric Daniels, White House Down* 

Best example of Seriously, WTF?
  • The Lords of Salem 
  • Aftershock 
  • After Earth 
  • R.I.P.D.* 
  • Escape Plan* 
  • Charlie Sheen Live* 
  • Spring Breakers 


*= A film we have not viewed to date.