Whilst shopping for a bike, the top qualities you searched for were: how pink it was, how cute it was, and also how well it matched as many of your outfits as possible. Someday you would like to carry a small dog in the basket with you, or maybe even some flowers or French bread; whichever is more European/cute. Despite what you envisioned when purchasing Daisy (or some flower-based name), you still drive most places. It’s also likely that you enjoy Sex and the City.
Magna/other thrift store bike
You’ve heard that bikes are convenient for getting around campus, so you decided to stop by Savers and get one. After all, the molecular physiology building is pretty far from the chemistry lab. You’re not sure what the gears do, or how to make the seat go up any higher. In fact, sometimes, the bike seems to slow you down when going uphill.
You could just never “get comfortable” on traditional bike seats. You’ve got a steady job, maybe a wife, a nice house, and some kids, and you enjoy taking up the entirety of the bike lane on the weekend. Huffing car exhaust as you furiously pedal a few feet off the ground doesn’t bother you anymore. You don’t really see what the big deal is, or why other bikers find your presence on the path such a nuisance.
You can lecture on the pros and cons of different brands of those black bike shorts. You’re almost certainly wearing toeclips, and probably even one of those biking jerseys with a bunch of logos on it. You probably think I’m riding too slow and are going to pass me the next chance you get.
How urban of you. There’s probably a great story about how you acquired the various parts of your fixie and how special they are to you. There’s also a high probability that you have at least one of the following: a tattoo, gauged ears, a mustache, a Chrome bag, or one of those little biking hats. You can probably be found at a co-op, a record store, a small-ish show, or a dive bar.
There can be some overlap here with the fixie, but it’s safe to say you’re a pretty contrary person in life. Maybe you have dreads, maybe you have a mohawk, or maybe you don’t wear shoes; hard to say. You love the looks you get while towering over traffic, and the confused pedestrians who ask how you get on your bike. Ralph Nader has received your vote in most elections, if you even bothered to vote at all (because “the voting system is totally rigged man, ya know?”). Your bike is just another manifestation of your inner alt.
You are that couple. The one that’s always finishing each other’s sentences, that has cute nicknames for each other, that only gets one tray in the cafeteria. People probably have some sort of secret nickname for you combining your names, or they refer to you as a “power couple.” You do everything together, and this bike completes that mission.