“With, Or Preferably Without You.” This would be about the infestation of Asian Carp in our waters, not love. I don’t really know about this shit, but I think it’s bad. The news people are worried about it. I think at its baseline, it means some weird-ass fish from out of town is crowding all the natural fish. Anyway, this seems like the kind of thing a socially-aware songwriter in Minnesota would tackle. Plus, Edge would have a killer solo.
“Sunday, Demoralizing Loss Sunday.” This wouldn’t be about the clash between Irish protesters and British MPs, but rather the day the Vikings lost to the Atlanta Falcons in the NFC Championship Game. I’m still shocked no one has mourned that horrible day (sometime in early 1999) in Top 40 format song. I think I’d have more respect for Jeremy Messersmith if he wrote about the Vikings instead of streets you can’t really bike on without getting killed by potholes/errant Buick LeSabres in South Minneapolis.
“Where the Streets Have Alphabetized Names.” There could be a whole verse just about Xerxes, because that’s a bad-ass street. Instead of “burning down love” Bono could just yell about “paving over Lyndale” or whatever.
“How to Dismantle an Ice-Fishing Rig.” We don’t really have atomic bombs in Minnesota (?), but pop music fans are always in dire need of good, instructional tunes. I mean I’m sure Bono gets a lot of love on his “social agenda” front, but I think there are a lot of problems associated with the dissembling of ice fishing houses and other winter recreation paraphernalia. Maybe the DNR could use it in a video spot.
“Elevation.” In this upbeat, thunderous single, Bono could sing about venturing up to the highest point of elevation in the entire state: Eagle Mountain in the Arrowhead.
“I Still Haven’t Found the Cinnabon.” I know that this guy likes to sing about AIDS and Ethiopian famine, but I think that if he really wanted to reach the masses here in Minnesota (we are a tough crowd to crack) he could sing about looking for a Cinnabon in the MOA. I mean, shit, there’s like over 700 stores!
“Where’d it Go?” In this tune, rather than singing about disorientation (“Vertigo”…get it?), Bono invites Craig Finn to blather on about looking for the Uptown Bar but standing right in front of the Mac Store.
“Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own.” In this song, Bono finds redemption while stranded in traffic on I-94 by deciding to use mass transit the next day instead of driving to work. It doesn’t quite pack the same kind of spiritual depth as the original tune about his father, but it’s instantly beloved by the Cities 97 demographic.