THEATER | Golden Girls gone wild in Theatre Arlo’s remix of “A Christmas Carol”

Significant portions of the dialogue in Theatre Arlo‘s Golden Girls remix of A Christmas Carol are taken verbatim from actual episodes of the 1980s TV series, and Sunday night at the Bryant-Lake Bowl it was hard to tell who was laughing harder: people who remembered the episodes or people who didn’t.

Having been well-advised to acquaint myself with the sitcom’s Christmas episodes before seeing the play, I found myself surprised at how sharp some of the original dialogue was. Listening to Blanche (in the original series, Rue McClanahan) tell the story of a Christmas Eve in which she ended up in the arms of multiple men, Dorothy (Bea Arthur) deadpans, “I could get herpes just listening to this story.”

That exchange ends up onstage at the BLB, as does the Girls’ encounter with a faux Santa who holds Blanche, Dorothy, and Rose (Betty White) hostage at gunpoint so he can have someone to celebrate Christmas with. Sophia (Estelle Getty) eventually shows up, complaining, “I’ve been sitting in the back seat of the car for half an hour. What am I, a dachshund?”

Sophia, as portrayed onstage by Kevin McLaughlin, is the character who has a near-death encounter in the Christmas Carol remix, during which she is visited by the spirits of holiday episodes past, present, and future. The story is essentially a frame upon which to hang reenactments of Golden Girls episodes, and that’s really all it ought to be. The cast have an affectionate hoot with the material: Courtney McLean as the dry Dorothy, Anna Olson as the dotty Minnesotan Rose, and especially Lacey Piotter as the lusty Blanche. Her performance may seem like a caricature of McClanahan’s, but YouTube those original episodes: Piotter barely keeps up with McClanahan’s shimmies.

The frosting on the cake of this utterly giggle-worthy production are the videos: a recreation of the sitcom’s opening credits, and unaltered vintage TV commercials in which Bill Cosby hawks Jell-O and 7-Up is advertised as “the uncola.” Irreverent holiday productions handily outnumber reverent ones, and Theatre Arlo scores with its manifest fondness for its source material. You aren’t going to spend that much time precisely matching the font from the original opening credits without genuinely loving the program—and it shows.

Given the material and its tone, this seems almost absurd to write, but from its debut production—an übergay version of The Importance of Being Earnest—to this sophomore show, Theatre Arlo is actually demonstrating real artistic growth. I recommended the first show to anyone who found the premise “the least bit amusing,” and I think I can safely go further this time: even if you’re not the least bit amused by the premise of setting A Christmas Carol in the Golden Girls’ Florida home, you’ll likely still be amused by the result. And if the notion does tickle your fancy, you should definitely go; the only way you’ll be disappointed is if the show sells out and you can’t get in.