My girlfriend “Kate” and I are in our early 20s, and we’ve been dating for about a year. I’ll be staying with her family for Thanksgiving, and Kate wants to ask her parents if it’s okay for us to stay together in her room. I’m not so sure…I think it will be a little awkward for me to walk past her parents in my pajamas, wave a cheery good-night, and hop into bed with their daughter. What should I do?
A Nice Young Man
Dear Nice Young Man—
This is always a tough dilemma the first time it’s brought to parents’ attention: you’re sleeping with their daughter. I commend you for wanting to be respectful and not flaunt it. But it’s been going on for a year, so they know this is not a fly-by-night affair. You have that in your favor. Also, it’s cool Kate is willing to do the asking. I recommend she test the waters without you around, so you’re not more uncomfortable about this than you already are.
Much is up to where the parents are at. What is the vibe you’ve gotten from them in the past? Do they seem like they might have been swinging hippies…or more like neo-conservatives? How are they with PDA? If you can’t tell which they are, find out how they vote. Are they for Obama or McCain? If the latter, don’t even bother—even if their candidate is a philanderer, and “abstinence education” didn’t work for his running mate’s daughter. You both can survive a few days—or just sneak through the hallways in the dark in classic Blake Edwards style.
Even if they are liberals—even if they’re swingers—this could still be difficult for you, Nice Young Man. If they give Kate the go-ahead, just try to relax…and keep it down. (The noise, that is.) Good luck!
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