L’Chaim!

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With his response to his 81-year-old father’s arrest this past week on charges of lewd conduct and indecent exposure, Sen. Norm Coleman once again rates a 100 percent voting record from the National Association of Smarmy Ass Coverers.

In case you missed the news reports, Norm Coleman Sr. was caught having sex with a 38-year-old woman outside a pizza parlor in St. Paul. Not surprisingly, Norm Jr. spent all his energy calculating what harm randy old papa might cause his son’s lackluster political career. Lacking the cojones to face the press in person, Norm Jr. issued a statement saying, “I love my father dearly. I do not condone his actions or behavior and I am deeply disturbed by what I have learned. He clearly has some issues that need to be dealt with, and I will encourage him to seek the necessary help.”

Given the rampant rumors about Norm Jr’s womanizing, maybe whatever “issues” the old man has to deal with seem to have been passed on from one generation to the next. The apple never falls far from the tree, now does it? For his brazen two-faced hypocrisy, I hereby sentence our whited-sepulcher of a senator to chair a public hearing every day for a year in which the sole witness is British MP George Galloway,

Articles about the arrest also cited Norm Jr’s previous practice of pimping his father, a veteran of Normandy and the Battle of the Bulge, during election bids, most shamelessly during his campaign against Paul Wellstone in 2002. On such occasions, Junior would refer to his old man as “my personal hero.” Well, Normie, he’s my personal hero now, too. An 81-year-old man getting it on with a woman less than half his age? In _public_ ? In a _car_ ? L’Chaim!

Maybe I’m so hard on Coleman _fils_ because I came to know – and despise him – so well in college. Well, not him personally, but certainly his type. The callow, self-aggrandizing SDS agitator with his fantasies of a revolution that would end up putting someone, well, just like himself in charge, his exploitative manipulation of others to go off and get their heads cracked in confrontations with the police and National Guard – confrontations invariably deemed too dangerous to dare risk exposing the “brains” behind the unrest to, his chauvinistic treatment of “chicks”; the Women’s Liberation Movement, it should be recalled, was less a response to the repressive Fifties than to the fury of young women in the Anti-War Movement triggered by their male counterparts – patronizing young patriarchal bastards like Norm Coleman Jr.

And while we’re on the topic, how much you want to bet that in his long-hair SDS days, Normie didn’t refer to his father as “my personal hero?” “Fascist pig,” maybe. “Tool of the Military-Industrial Complex,” perhaps. Certainly not “personal hero.”

Yup, Norm Jr’s whole life has been of a seamy piece, his lickspittle support of Bush’s creative destruction in the Mideast, his enlistment in the neocon’s Chicken Hawk War, a natural extension of his previous incarnations, each bearing telltale traces of the slime trail he leaves in his wake. How could you go from being an SDS-er to a neocon Republican? he was once asked. Easy, he replied. Back then I wanted to change the world. I still do.

Translation? Once a sociopath, always a sociopath.

I’ll say this: whatever his old man did, it was a consensual act between two adults that harmed no one. Norm Sr got caught screwing a woman. Norm Jr has spent his whole life screwing the rest of us.

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