Name: Lauren DeLand
Twitter: “No. I can’t seem to shake the idea that Twitter is just for overthrowing oligarchs and body-shaming celebrities, and I’m a real slouch at both.”
What’s your job?
“I’m a purveyor of art history. I write about it, I give lectures on it, and I stuff college students’ heads with it, most recently at Gustavus Adolphus College and at the University of Minnesota.”
Other than your job, what are your claims to fame?
“One, wearing makeup I acquired in post-Halloween liquidation sales for year-round nights on the town. Two, a rip-roaring karaoke version of Loretta Lynn’s ‘Fist City.’ Three, once when I was nine, I balanced an entire Jenga game between my teeth.”
What’s your relationship status?
“On the arm of a total babe.”
Where are you most likely to be seen?
“My favorite hideout is a secret. That said, you can find me at the 19 Bar, or sitting trackside at the Minnesota RollerGirls bouts in St. Paul. I’m the shouty one.”
Where are you least likely to be seen?
“Anywhere that smells of Axe Body Spray. So, you know, downtown.”
With whom are you most likely to be seen?
“I prefer the company of people who know how to make their own fun. If you are devastatingly intelligent, wickedly funny, restlessly creative, and if you know how to take these traits and put on your own show because you find other social situations boring, then you and I will get along famously.”
Where were you born?
“Belleville, Illinois. We moved to Minnesota when I was one, yet my fellow Minnesotans have for my entire life informed me that I talk funny.”
What neighborhood do you live in now?
“I live in the Ps: Prospect Park.”
What’s your ride?
“I’m way too much in the car lately. I’m trying to offset the physical results of that by converting my fair-weather boo—my bike, Scarlett—into a stationary bike for the winter.”
What’s the best way for someone to start a conversation with you?
“Where did you get those eyelashes?”
Photo courtesy Lauren DeLand