“Peter & The Starcatcher” at the Orpheum Theatre: I Definitely Saw Stars

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There are a finite amount of shows that make me feel things, real emotions that don’t seem to conform to the words I use to describe them. These shows are magic. They find the place deep inside you where theatre speaks to your soul. Peter and the Star Catcher is one of those shows. The brilliant origin story of the most beloved of children’s heroes, Peter Pan, found the spot in me where the raw nerves are and touched all of them. I left the theatre feeling the most annoyed I’ve been since the last time someone yelled oh my god at me for five breathless minutes. 

That has never happened, nor should it ever have happened. Unfortunately Peter and the Star Catcher has all this and more. In fact this brilliant prequel to my childhood memories has everything you have ever hated, ever! Do you despise poorly rendered british accents? Does making the same joke thirteen times convince you that you’ve made a horrible mistake spending money to hear it? Do adult actors who think shaving before pretending to be a child in a broadway production is optional make your skin crawl? Of course they do! If you thing you can bear those don’t worry, there’s an annoyance for every size and shape down at the Orpheum through March 16th. So come one, come all and test how long you can last against the best planned train wreck to ever before grace the stage. 

Surely still there are moments to love. Through the blinding pain there are moments of joy you rarely see anywhere else. Like a small dog that has yapped for so long it forgot how and makes a new noise you’ve never heard before. An angel, something almost as beautiful as choking dogs came to the stage that night. Whimsy like I’ve never seen in the most energetic Captain Hook Ive ever seen. I haven’t seen Peter Pan in may years but I never remember rooting for the captain. By the end of the show I was really hoping the charismatic, engaging captain would be the one taking the hand from almost accent number 3. Sadly it was not to be. The captain, my captain was in the end not only robbed of his hand but also his dignity. His lines were botched in the most needy, laugh hungry, overdone line of all time. Enter the five breathless minutes of oh my god. 

So if you must see Peter and the Star Catcher go with an open mind. There will be those there among you who would say the show is dazzling and light hearted. Do not be fooled. They don’t see what lurked beneath the surface. A show made entirely of pander. A show that appeals to the lowest common denominator that has ever dared to denominate a numerator. Go with a strong mind my friends, and please throw my captain a rose.