Dear Cyn,
I’m dating the world’s perfect man, going on five months now. Trust me, you’d be jealous. In addition to constant rushes of excitement, big adventures, and mind-blowing sex, we actually understand each other and communicate. So…I love him. Real do-anything-just-to-see-you-happy love. Self-sacrificing love. Last-bite-of-ice-cream love. Can’t-get-out-of-bed-because-I’m-creepily-watching-you-sleep kind of love. Problem is, I haven’t had the nerve to open my mouth and say this out loud. Any advice?
-Julia
Dear Julia,
Well, you are the world’s luckiest woman in love. Sounds really fantastic—he seems like someone you want to hold on to for a long time. I’m glad to hear that its good in both the exciting and mundane, the sacred and profane ways.
I understand your nervousness about declaring your love for him. But it really sounds like he’s right there with you, and I’ll bet your perfect man is perhaps shy to say it himself. You could sing to him in the morning, “If you wanted the sky, I would write across the sky in letters, that would soar a thousand feet high, ‘To ??, with Love,'” or better yet, hire one of those message planes and write him the message on a banner. If you are having a hard time voicing it, write it! Write it on a sidewalk in chalk, or carve it into a park bench or graffiti it on a bridge, if that’s your inclination, and take him for a walk there to read it. You could write a note and enclose it in a cupcake. You could murmur it into his neck as you’re cuddling, or whisper it—he won’t hear you but be curious, sussing what it might be, and drag it out of you—you’ll be able to tell if it’s welcome. But, whatever you do, just be bold, and do it! It sounds like a good point in time and your relationship. From what you’re telling me, I have no doubt he will welcome your declaration of love with open heart, and say it back. Then, on to next levels and new horizons.
Good luck!
Sincerely,
Cyn
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