I’m dating the world’s perfect man, going on five months now. Trust me, you’d be jealous. In addition to constant rushes of excitement, big adventures, and mind-blowing sex, we actually understand each other and communicate. So…I love him. Real do-anything-just-to-see-you-happy love. Self-sacrificing love. Last-bite-of-ice-cream love. Can’t-get-out-of-bed-because-I’m-creepily-watching-you-sleep kind of love. Problem is, I haven’t had the nerve to open my mouth and say this out loud. Any advice?
Wow, perfect men are a rare thing; sounds like you’ve found a great one! I know the feeling of wanting to tell a man you love him, but not being able to open your mouth and get the words out. My second boyfriend, and longest relationship to date, gave me that same feeling. Every time I looked at him I wanted to tell him, but I just couldn’t work up the nerve. It was only the second time I’d fallen in love and I was his first girlfriend. I kept trying to wait for him to say it first because I was such a wimp but it went on for so long that I was almost miserable. I was drawing a lot at the time and started something that I wouldn’t show him. I made him a drawing that said “I love you.” I finally showed it to him, we were sitting on my bed, then I hid my face under the covers, and told him how silly I felt not being able to just say it. He told me he loved me, too. It actually turned out to be a really nice moment. It was the best feeling ever to get it out in the open. It was probably the world’s lamest way to say it, but it enabled me to get it out so I would quit feeling like my heart was going to explode from not telling him for so long. I still remember it clearly.
I guess the point is that you should find any way that allows you to say it comfortably. It will probably be very “you” and he’ll love it. Every time you say it can be different and special in it’s own way. For the first time, just think about that last bite of ice cream that you save for him, know that he probably watches you sleep, too, and say it, in whatever way seems right to you. You can plan something special, maybe in a special location that you know will mean something to both of you. The place you met, a park you like, a favorite tree…or in your kitchen where you first cooked a meal together. However, if you think that will put too much pressure on you, then just blurt it while he’s doing one of those silly things he does that makes you love him. You will have many more perfect moments with him so don’t stress yourself too much trying to make this into a huge ordeal.
Bottom line is, be yourself, express your feelings, and do it in a way that makes you feel comfortable; you can’t go wrong. You’ve got something special, so no matter how you tell him you love him, it’s going to be beautiful.
Get those words out of your mouth,