Gay Relationships

It is not very common in the Hmong culture to see our sons and daughters interested with someone of the same sex. But we shouldn’t be judged or treated differently because of our sexual orientation. This is our choice or some people are just born with it. In the Hmong Community, coming out of the closet may be hard and scary because like mentioned it is not accepted and most of the time you’d become the outcast or black sheep of the family.
My girlfriend Amber has been the greatest blessing in my life. We got together when I was 16 and it has been an adventure since. She understands my feelings and is always there when I need her. I love how she teaches me to be more open-minded to new things.


We are like any other couple out there just of the same sex. Being out in public and having people giving us weird looks or hearing whispers doesn’t faze me because we are all the same – we’re all human being.

My friends and family have not once disclaimed me nor judge me due to my sexual orientation. Most people would just say I’m confused but my emotions tell it all. When I was dating boys, on a balance scale there would be a big difference.

We should not be ashamed to stand up for what we believe. The older generation are stuck in the traditional ways so that’s where they come quick to judge and not accept it. Coming out to my father felt very natural although he took it as a joke because growing up I had always been boy crazy. But he came to accept it because he knew I was happy in the relationship I was in. Then when the time came down to him meeting Amber he was very respectful and showed no signs of rudeness. That was very shocking to me considering since my father is still a little traditional but as time grew he slowly learned to accept it more.

Our parents shouldn’t punish us nor disown us as their children for being gay. Our personalities and beliefs stay the same so therefore we remain the same people we started out with. Today we have supporting Hmong organizations such as Shades of Yellow (SOY) for LGBTQ (Lesbians, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender and Queer). I believe that this will be a big hit in this new generation of Hmong people.

Over the year, I have learned a lot from my relationship and I would like for that to continue to grow into something deeper. When you start feeling tummy flies and creating feelings for the same sex gender does not mean that you are on the wrong pathway. It just means you are on a new discovery about yourself. Being in a relationship with a girl is much more satisfying than with a guy for me. It has been one big journey with Amber. We made it a whole amazing year and there’s not one day where I’d take it back. There are so much more to a relationship, you just have to look deeper into it.