Tubs of margarine thrown through your windows
Awkward family dinners for months while you use up the butter
Tasteless “on a stick” jokes
You always wonder whether you’d look better salted
People saying, “They sure do know how to butter you up!”
Getting mooned by fairgoers while you pose in the refrigerated booth
People saying about you, “She’s hot—everywhere butterface!”
Butter artist refuses to depict you without your braces
You’re making out with a guy and he says, “I can’t believe it’s not butter!”
Living the rest of your life in fear that “butter princess” will appear in the headline of your obituary
Photo by Goatopolis (Creative Commons)
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