Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?


by Jeff Fecke • So as you may have heard, Barack Obama is going to be sworn in as our nation’s 44th president on Tuesday, and while that’s an important historical event, it’s also a reason for America’s businesses to use the moment for some free publicity. Not exactly shocking — it’s that kind of can-do pandering that has made America what it is.

Jeff Fecke is a freelance writer who lives in Eagan, Minnesota.In addition to his own blog, Blog of the Moderate Left, he also contributes to Alas, a Blog, Minnesota Campaign Report, and AlterNet. Fecke has appeared as a guest on the “Today” show, the Alan Colmes radio show, and the Mark Heaney Show. Fecke is divorced, and the father of one really terrific daughter. His debut novel, The Valkyrie’s Tale, is now available.

So Krispy Kreme decided that they would give away donuts on Tuesday, because it will attract business, and because of some boilerplate:

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American’s sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies — just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet ‘free’ can be.

Seems pretty innocuous, doesn’t it? Well, not if you’re an anti-choice zealot. You see, Krispy Kreme dared to use the “C” word — choice — and That Will Not Stand:

”The unfortunate reality of a post-Roe v. Wade America is that ‘choice’ is synonymous with abortion access, and celebration of ‘freedom of choice’ is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand,” the group’s president, Judie Brown said in a statement.

Really? “Choice” is now synonymous with “abortion rights” — the two mean the same thing?

Awesome! That means that anytime the right wing talks of “school choice,” they’re suggesting that we’re creating schools where our kids can have abortions at will! Who knew?

Seriously, of course, the right wing’s outrage meter’s needle is currently buried beyond “Impotent Rage.” The American people seem to actually like Barack Obama, and seem genuinely relieved that George W. Bush is finally, mercifully leaving office. Anti-choicers can count, and know what an Obama presidency means for their goals of eliminating abortion rights — and frankly, they can count, and realize that South Dakota’s defeat of an abortion ban — again — is a signal that frankly, America doesn’t actually want to outlaw abortion.

And so they’re reduced to getting upset about pretty basic, straightforward language in a press release by a donut company. I’d almost pity them, if I wasn’t enjoying the Schadenfreude so much.
Originally published January 18, 2009