The Birthers strike out again

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by Jeff Fecke || August 3, 2009 • There are plenty of nations in the world with a strong, ethical civil service. Kenya is not one of them. Kenya isn’t the most corrupt nation on Earth (depending on who you ask, that’s Bangladesh, Chad, Iraq, or Myanmar), but it’s certainly in the top twenty-five, and at least one source has them tied for tenth. Long story short, it’s a country where getting the things you need requires a lot of well-placed bribes. The good news is that if you want something special — like, say, a faked birth certificate — a few well-placed bribes can get you that, too.

Jeff Fecke is a freelance writer who lives in Eagan, Minnesota.In addition to his own blog, Blog of the Moderate Left, he also contributes to Alas, a Blog, Minnesota Campaign Report, and AlterNet. Fecke has appeared as a guest on the “Today” show, the Alan Colmes radio show, and the Mark Heaney Show. Fecke is divorced, and the father of one really terrific daughter. His debut novel, The Valkyrie’s Tale, is now available.

So I’m not surprised that Attorneydontistor Orly Taitz has come across something that purports to be the proof that Barack Hussein Super-Allah Obama is in fact a dirty Mooslim from Kenya. After all, that’s the sort of thing one can get in Kenya, which is why sane people pretty much assume that a Certificate of Live Birth from Hawai’i is more legitimate than one from Kenya. Still, I did sigh, because while I was quite certain the document was obtained through questionable channels, I thought it possible that this was something that actually came from someone in Kenya with a few thousand dollars more in his or her pocket than they had last week.

Well, maybe it did, but if it did, they hid enough Easter eggs in the document to pretty thoroughly destroy any possibility that anyone outside the birther fringe could take it seriously. To explain, I’ll turn to a commenter at Free Republic. No, really:

However, the bottom line is that it’s another BOGUS BIRTH DOCUMENT. It’s not a birth certificate at all.

Here are a few findings by the members of the group and from other contacts:

I am amazed at the cluelessness of many people in this forum about the above obvious fake document. For instance: Kenya didn’t become a republic until December 1964; E.F Lavender is a common detergent in Kenya & the certificate# 44 0 47 is laughable: 47 = he’s the 44th US President, O = Obama & 47 = his age. Are all these coincidental you lunatics.

Above all, Kenya is one of the most corrupt nations in the world & any body can obtain a forged document in minutes. The person who made this document was a person who wanted to make some few quick & easy dollars from brain-dead birther lunatics.

Rallying around such blatant forgeries only helps to discredit ‘birther’ lunatics. BTW, thanks for giving unemployed Kenyan guys more $$ to continue feeding you guys with blatant forgeries! Grow up guys!

And this:

In 1961, hospitals in Kenya did issue birth certificates. Starting in 1964,so did the Ministry of Home Affairs, the Civil Registration Department, the National Registration Bureau, Immigration Department, Registrar General, National Social Security Fund, and the National Hospital Insurance Fund.

The document below purports to be a GOVERNMENTAL birth registry from 1961. It most definitely is not. It is a fake and a poor one at that, starting with the wrong title of the document; the wrong official name of the country; wrong name of the province, etc..

Consider these 3 historical facts which the forger got dead wrong:

1. Kenyan official documents did NOT bear the name “REPUBLIC of Kenya” until 1964, if only because the Republic of Kenya was proclaimed in December
1963.

2. In 1961, Mombassa was in ZANZIBAR, not in Kenya.

3. In 1961, the hospital was called “Coast PROVINCIAL General Hospital”.

And this:

An intelligence contact with Israeli connections says this: “We checked all the hospitals in Kenya, starting in early 2008. There is no such birth certificate. This is another fake. It is also a very bad fake, by the way, very amateurish, as anyone who has seen the real items would immediately discern.”

Incidentally, the person who posted that calls Obama’s COLB “bogus,” so it’s not like this is someone unsympathetic to the birthers.

The truth, of course, is that every shred of actual evidence we have indicates that Barack Obama was born exactly where he said he was, exactly when he said he was. Hawai’i has certified that fact and Hawai’ian civil servants have averred that the birth certificate is valid and legitimate. The COLB is sufficient to prove citizenship to obtain a passport, vote, join the military, gain employment, or do anything else one would want. Obama has provided it. Any sane person would say we’re done here, and indeed, outside of white Southerners, that’s exactly what the country appears to have done.

Of course, the white Southerners haven’t bought that Obama is a “real” American. I’m sure it’s totally coincidental that they feel that way about our nation’s first African-American president.

But white Southerners are the GOP’s base now, and that’s a problem for them. Really, the birthers are no less crazy than the 9/11 truthers, who still pop up from time to time on liberal websites, claiming George W. Bush blew up the World Trade Center because…um…something. But mainstream Democrats have, since 9/11/01, been steadfast in saying that the truthers are a bunch of goofball conspiracy theorists. The GOP can’t, not without alienating their base. And so they take half-measures, trying hard not to offend the birthers while still backing away slowly. Because the birthers are goofballs, too. But given how few people are Republican these days, they’re pretty much all the GOP has to work with.

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