So for the past 2 years I’ve been meticulously planning a move out to the east coast.
I had planned to leave June 1st, but this past February I met my dream girl who I could potentially see myself with long-term. Things have for the most part been wonderful thus far.
The issue is that she’s five years younger than I am and not quite in almost-settling-down mode like I am. She had originally hinted at going with me out there but after graduation she’s made it clear that she wants to be in a relationship with me but wouldn’t be moving out that way for some time. What should I do? Stay here and compromise a dream and two years of planning to see things through and be with her, or head east as originally planned and possibly try a long distance thing until she’s ready to try it there…or just hope we meet up again someday? I realize I probably shouldn’t have gotten involved with anyone in the first place so close to a planned move but these things happen! Help!
Heading Out East (?)
Dear Heading Out East,
You’ve been planning this move for two years and you’ve been dating this gal for four months? I think that says quite a bit. Don’t give up two years of preparation and planning for a woman. There are other women in the sea—er, fish, you know. You will find someone to make a life with on the east coast who is ready for the type of relationship you want.
She’s young and not ready to settle down. You’re ready to settle down. Do not wait for her to be ready. I’ve said this before: Don’t wait for a partner to change or grow up. When he or she doesn’t, you’re going to regret wasting your time! You’ve known her for only four months; asking her to be ready to move across the country with you is a little unreasonable. Maybe you could try long distance, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. I don’t recommend dating someone you can’t see in person at least every few weeks. Sexting is overrated.
I would always advise being true to yourself and following your dreams. If you make a sacrifice for your partner, not only may you regret it, but it may also cause some resentment that could harm the relationship. If this is meant to be, then maybe she’ll join you out east when she’s ready. She may be your dream girl after four months, but that’s not a long enough time period to really know her and make your life decisions around her.
Go meet some east coast hotties,