RNC Welcoming Committee orders tasers for every protestor


The RNC Welcoming Committee (RNC-WC), an anarchist and anti-authoritarian organizing body based in the Twin Cities, announced today that it has ordered tasers for each of its members and friends. The announcement comes on the heels of last month’s St. Paul City Council approval of a St. Paul Police Department (SPPD) request for 234 tasers. Due to a unique corporate-anarchist confidentiality agreement, the exact number of tasers or documentable evidence of this new order will not be disclosed.

Opinion: RNC Welcoming Committee orders tasers for every protestor

Both the SPPD and RNC-WC taser orders are scheduled to arrive before the September 1 so-called Republican National Convention (RNC) in St. Paul. However, “The RNC Welcoming Committee’s order of tasers has absolutely nothing to do with the upcoming Republican convention,” said Ann O’ Nymmity of the RNC-WC. “These deadly, yet humane, weapons are needed simply to protect the safety of members of our community on a day-to-day basis. The timing is purely a coincidence.”

Last month, St. Paul police spokesperson Tom Walsh made similar statements to the Associated Press, saying that in regards to the RNC, his department’s purchase is “in no way related [to the timing of the RNC in St. Paul]. It simply isn’t.”

During scheduled protests of the RNC, local police and federal agents are likely to get violent. In Minneapolis last August, police used tasers and pepper spray to attack a nonviolent Critical Mass bike ride which coincided with the “pReNC”, a weekend of radical organizing in preparation for the RNC.

The RNC-WC does not have state-approved funding revenues. O’ Nymmity explained: “Our plan is to finance the purchase through raids on local WMD manufacturers, such as Alliant Techsystems.” The SPPD is funding their taser purchase through $210,000 from drug raids. O’ Nymmity added: “Through their website, the RNC Welcoming Committee is also accepting contributions from the public.”

Tasers, manufactured by Taser International, Inc., range from $300 to $1,000 and the fashionable weapons come in a variety of styles, including “black pearl,” “electric blue,” “metallic pink,” “leopard print,” and “forest camo.” O’ Nymmity noted, “We imagine St. Paul police will be visiting us soon, and now we’ll have something to talk about when they do. For instance, I can’t wait to compare my leopard print model to St. Paul police deputy chief Matt Bostrom’s metallic pink one!”

Once the RNC-WC order is finalized, the St. Paul Police Department will no longer have a monopoly on the weapons that have been implicated in hundreds of deaths nationwide, including the killing of a Fridley man by Minnesota State Troopers in January.

The Welcoming Committee has no plans to purchase machine guns, rubber bullets, pepper spray, tear gas, concussion grenades, batons, water cannons or helicopters, all of which will be at the disposal of local police and federal agents in September.

O’ Nymmity concluded, “Convention delegates and attendees should feel free to enjoy their five-star hotels, three-course meals, and “gentleman’s clubs” without fear of protest or disruption. After all, if they follow the law and don’t start any illegal wars or anything, what should they have to worry about?”

14 thoughts on “RNC Welcoming Committee orders tasers for every protestor

  1. Authorities have determined that because Liberals consider Tasers deadly force, Officers are instructed to shoot to kill taser toting protestors and thin the herd.

  2. oh yes, killing people sure is funny. hahaha.

    your complete lack of compassion and tasteless is joke is NOT funny to anyone with an ounce of empathy and regard for the lives of others. how can you even make jokes about killing people??? sicko.

  3. Hmmm, I’m an emergency doctor doctor and see at least 1 taser victim each week. Yep, There brought in by the police for evaluation with the barbs still stuck inside them. Nobody dies unless they have a predisposing medical condition that makes them hypersensitive to the shock delivered by the Taser. Then again, nobody gets shot with a Taser unless they ignore the cops, try to resist arrest or ignore the cop’s instructions!! Just my opinion

  4. I am offering congrats in the fact that you “RNC Welcoming Committee” are a true bunch of patriots. You have the intestinal fortitude to commit to ACTION and this I applaud you! We need more ACTION based groups and then maybe we can break the walls that hold us captive and the chain that bind us!


  5. First of all, I can guarantee if ANY idiot tries to TASER a cop, there will be bloodshed

    Can’t wait to see all of you anarchist idiots getting TASERed and pepper-sprayed. I’ve got my scanner programmed to hear all the action, and a picnic lunch packed.

    It’s gonna be fun watching the St. Paul PD kick some hippie ass!

    “Power to the People! All 300,000 Volts of it!” zzzzZZZZzzt!

  6. For 1, to go to such extremes as throwing things through store front windows. Breaking “Police car” windows and slashing tires. Is just totally illegal. It only makes you guys look like a bunch of immature crazy people. Why? Why are you here? To what, tell someone that they are wrong? Because of the “war”. At this time neither side is for the war, both sides are ready for the war to end. Everyone is sick of the killings, but these are people that knew they could and or are going to war. Thats what they train for. They were not forced. It was they’re personal choice. Isn’t that what you guys fight for, Personal Freedom. Freedom of speech is your right, and that 1st Amendment is great. But, there are laws that everyone must obey. So to everyone that feels they need to make the RNC they’re stage to be noticed. Go get a damn job, take a shower. Go to your DNC events and show your support with the people that you share the same values with. But the only thing you guys are doing is looking, acting, and smelling like shit.

  7. Yeah…people that want freedom for all people must be losers right? I’m behind you 150% Welcoming Committee…..REVOLUTION!!!!! When the Government takes this country even farther down by having wars with even more countries…maybe more people will get the bigger picture. Just wait until it’s WW3 and your kid is being drafted off to a war they didn’t start…then what…when they give you back a folded flag for your kid are you still going to be so sheepish? Everyone has a right to think and feel for themselves…and I admire those that stand up no matter what, to defend their beliefs. What will happen….and is happenning…is America’s at war with herself…Conservative…Liberal….Republican…Democrat???? The war is here….and it will be Citizens vs. Government fighting it out in the end. Seeing as I’ve seen the Government at work and the corruption of every official in my own state….I’m siding Citizen….and I think we out number the rest…if we all take back what is ours.

  8. You can’t condemn a whole group based on the actions of a few. When you have that many people together and that much pent up hostility, somebody is gonna throw the first stone. So what if a squad car got damaged, they shouldn’t have brought their cars to a foot-based protest. They shouldn’t have put snipers on the roof and pulled the permit that had already been issued. And then you idiots call them hippies, are you serious, do you even know what a hippie is? It’s narrow-minded 3rd grade edumacation thinking like that that got our country in this mess in the first place.

    “At this time neither side is for the war”- so does that make it okay? They changed their minds after all the killing, after invading a nation, but because they changed their minds it’s okay now? I love how disconnected from reality you are… they weren’t forced, it’s what they trained for? You do realize that the tour of duty has been stretched right? Do you have any lives at stake in this war like I do? Friends who were told they only needed to do 6-10 months of duty and have been stretched over 20 now. John McCain would not comment on the issue of re-instating the draft. Make sure to send him a letter so he can find you when that day comes. Get used to sitting in your house because the streets WILL be ours if the US continues it’s fall from grace.

  9. this is bad propaganda!

    this is the “other” side of the Info-war against the anarchists,

    I love my country
    hate me government.


  10. It floors me to see that all these hippies think they can really change the world and over throw our government by bitching and complaining instead of trying to help change the matter.

  11. Anarchists are not Hippies in any way. You torries can say whatever you want about these patriots but when a people are oppressed and ignored they will push back. These people have repeatedly tried using discourse to persuade the government and only an idiot would think that that has worked. Peaceful protest is one of the few ways they can be heard but the police will initiate violence like they always do. Finally people will fight back when their natural rights are violated.

    “People should not be afraid of their government, governments should be afraid of its people.” V

  12. My comment will begin after this brief commercial…

    “I”m not a Dr. but I play one on the internet…”

    I would hope that, an “emergency doctor doctor” would know when to use “they’re”…..

    thank’s, you’re very funny… “Paging; Dr Howard, Dr Fine, Dr Howard. Paging…”

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