Don’t knock it till you try it: Getting a tarot reading at Eye of Horus

One of the things I hate most about myself is my dreary practicality. I am a realist, and it’s incredibly boring. When life gets difficult, do I think to look for direction in religion, “spirituality,” or perhaps my Astrology chart? Hell no. “How impractical,” I mutter as I pour myself a third mason jar of wine. “Those things are for people who feel the need to attach ‘meaning’ to life.”

It is this wholesale rejection of all things even quasi-spiritual that encouraged me to enter the dark forest of the metaphysical arts. I mean, who am I to say that there isn’t something to be gained from having someone “do my chart” or “balance my chakra energy”? Also, I have to admit that my cynical reaction to metaphysical stuff (crystals, Tarot, astrology, etc.), has a lot to do with certain vain style concerns. Get one Tarot reading, I reasoned, and the next thing you know I’ll be a fat, polyamorous hippie, marinating myself in patchouli oil and planning my next trip to Burning Man. But perhaps my fear of becoming a humorless hippie was keeping me from exploring valid ways of looking at the world.

I decided to begin my spiritual “quest” at Eye of Horus, a store on Lyndale that specializes in metaphysical merchandise, including arty knick-knacks, books, candles, incense, music, pretty stones, and even boot knives. (Seriously, do you need a boot knife? You can buy one at Eye of Horus!) The store also offers tarot readings, reiki healing, monthly drum circles and assorted workshops.

Although I had managed to “free my mind” enough to seek out a Tarot reading, I was a little terrified to enter the store. I walk around feeling like a fraud pretty much all the time, and I’m prone to attacks of insecurity in just about any given situation. Surely the people at the store would sense that I am a shallow cynic who doesn’t even know what her rising sign is. Although I’ve spent plenty of time making fun of people who know about rising signs, all of a sudden I was worried about impressing them.

But I ventured on, marching into the store and announcing that I was there for a Tarot reading. The clerk told me that “Amanda” was upstairs and “available.” I went up to the second floor, past the art gallery, and into a small room. Amanda, the woman who would do my reading, was sitting at a table. She smiled and introduced herself. I was relieved that the Eye of Horus website wasn’t lying—she really was like someone’s pleasant aunt, not at all an off-putting gamer in a black velvet cape and bondage bracelets.

I sat down across from Amanda and she pointed at two decks of Tarot cards. “Feel free to pick the deck you want me to use,” she said. I stared at the decks, trying to figure out which one was better. “Um, well, if there’s one you like better, you can just use that one,” I said. “Oh, it doesn’t matter,” she said, “just choose the one with the artwork that appeals to you more.”

In my case, this meant the deck with more “medieval” vibe. The other one was a little too unicorny for my tastes. She started shuffling the deck and telling me how the reading was going to work. First, she would lay out some cards; then some more, and she’d interpret how they relate to my life. Or something along those lines—I wasn’t listening very closely at that point.

Amanda asked me if there was some question or theme that I wanted to explore with the reading. I told her that I wanted to “explore” my life and how it relates to work. For me, work is a major existential problem. If Tarot could help me figure out my life in terms of work, I would never make fun of another pagan again.

She began laying out cards and explaining their significance in relation to my question. For example, one of the first cards that came up was the “Knight of Cups.” This card has something to do with healing, and indicates that my true calling has something to do with “making a difference.” Amanda elaborated, “No matter how much money you get paid, you’re just not going to be satisfied doing something that’s meaningless to you,” she said. Uh oh. I wasn’t sure how a career of proofreading for junk mail companies fit into that pronouncement.

Another card of importance was the King of Swords. I could tell that this one was a little problematic. Amanda explained that this card stands for a person in my life, or another part of myself, who is overbearing and who sees everything in black and white. This person, she explained, is very opinionated and can be influential to a weak-willed person. Instead of having reasoned discussions with this sword-king and trying to explain my side, she suggested that I simply ignore him or her (or myself?) and go ahead and do whatever I feel like doing. I thought that was useful advice.

We then moved on to the part where we were supposed to get some clarification about just what it is I’m supposed to be doing with my life. She brought up the “healing” theme again, and also said that whatever I do will need to be lucrative. So far, so good. She also pulled out a “sun” card, which, among other things, suggested that I should take a trip to a warm destination soon—you know, to help clarify all those existential career goals and stuff.

And finally, when it came to a plan for the future, Amanda really sold me by saying that my journey doesn’t require that I take any action right now. “It doesn’t always have to be a struggle,” she said. Excellent! Her prescription to “relax and take it all in” certainly resonated with me. The thing that really bothers me about other belief systems (like, for example, “couples counseling”) is the absolute insistence on being proactive—on “getting somewhere” or “working on yourself.” If you’re feeling like a directionless loser, the last thing you want is for someone to tell you to “work on becoming an effective communicator” or to “start exploring Buddhism.” But taking a vacation and relaxing and waiting for clarity—that’s a plan for me.

So—should you get a Tarot reading at Eye of Horus? I really don’t see why not. For your money, it’s a much better deal than traditional therapy—you can go once and learn about how to proceed for the next six months, whereas in therapy, you’ll be encouraged to drop in at least weekly to go on and on about your irrational feelings and how sad you are for no reason pretty much all the time. I mean, who wants to think about that? Visit their website at www.eyeofhorus.biz for a schedule or call them at 872-1292. They are located at 2717 Lyndale Ave. They also have a labyrinth out back.