St. Paul psychic looks to 2010 and beyond
Looking back on the past 12 months reveals a whirl of events - new president, nuclear proliferation, health care, war in Afghanistan, global warming, terrorist plots, H1N1. We didn't start the fires, but someone keeps throwing logs on and we really wish they'd cut it out. And what's ahead in 2010?
Searching for answers, I turned to Fatima, a psychic advisor in St. Paul. Fatima has been reading for 43 years and has been on local channels for sports predictions and other psychic advice. More than happy to help, Fatima provided me with a list of events we can expect for the next year.
According to Fatima, in 2010:
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Fatima provides spiritual readings and advice, psychic information, and palm and tarot reading at 822 University Ave W. St. Paul, MN 55104, seven days a week from 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. (651) -224 -9251 |
- More health issues are on the way, especially concerning viruses stemming in foreign countries.
- There will be more wars. (Not sure where, not sure when - but definitely more.)
- New laws will be passed. U.S. citizens will not agree with these new laws. (Let's see - that could be past, present or future.)
- The economy will be situated and things will be okay -- we'll all get by.
- This is not the beginning of the end of the world, but we can expect 2010 to be more hectic than the past few years.
It's hard not to think that current events are hopping in hand-baskets and heading south with increasing speed, but Fatima stressed that, despite the seemingly unending string of chaotic and world-changing events, the world will go on. Adding a little perspective, Fatima said that the number one problem in America, especially for women, is love.
Fatima added some tantalizing predictions for the TC Daily Planet. After reassuring me that TCDP will definitely survive, she said that somebody important will come to or will have an interest in the Daily Planet sometime in May or June or next summer. With that interest, readership will increase, the publication will improve overall, and those working for TCDP will see improved incomes.
Hearing this pearl of wisdom after the social and political predictions, a striking connection occurred to me. Maybe, if we all just started expecting the unexpected a little more, when life changing events arrived we could get over the shock and act a little faster.
For most of us, Fatima excluded, the future will always be a mystery. We'll have to wait for another year to see how her predictions fare.
Nora Leinen (nora@tcdailyplanet.net) is an English Literature major at the University of Minnesota with an interest in theory and American studies.
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Comments
What is this nonsense?
Claptrap on TCDP. Lots of people "feel" and "predict" stuff, but I guess only the ones that get gullible people to pay them money for it get a whole article. The author of this article shouldn't keep such an open mind that her brain falls out.
Predictions for 2010 -- Read 'em and weep!
2010 New Year's Predictions - READ 'EM AND WEEP!
Ex-Ms. California Carrie Prajean learns Electric Guitar 101, composes and debuts her song, "It takes One, Baby!"
on "20/20." Somehow the tune, unlike its composer, never really "gets off."
It's discovered "Bewitched" WAS based on a real premise after all: A small colony of the
world's 10 remaining witches (one nose-twitching) is discovered by a nosy housewife and outed in Duluth, Minnesota.
When the government comes to take them into custody, they simply zap themselves away.
The Covenant of the Lost Ark is at long last discovered,
buried right beneath actress Joan Van Ark's flowerbed. Archeologists are dumbfounded.
Michael Jackson's ghost materializes by Pope Benedict in the Vatican as he finishes
his televised Easter address. Aptly, Michael sings, "Living Off The Wall."
The Pope is a bit annoyed he's upstaged so by "a mere pop star." Michael's "performance"
is not seen and heard on tape replayal, however, much to Catholics' relief
(and Michael's fans' dismay).
After being spit and vomited on the upteenth time, an exasperated, exhausted Brad Pitt finally
puts his foot down with Angelina, proclaiming that from now
on, there'll be no more adoptions, babies, even pets -- just Chia pets -- else he's leaving her. For good.
Tiger Woods, facing yet more "outed" mistresses and even publication of a semi-nude pic (only a golf club
partially covering him), gives up golf and retreats to a remote Eskimo village with mistress
Jamie. He loses all endorsements but does gain one from Ambien.
As a joke, Donny Osmond fills in as host of Martha Stewart's show, adding his own touch
by singing recipe instructions. He ends up being so popular, he takes over the show,
garnering great ratings and putting both Martha AND Rachel Ray out
of the cooking business.
Suri Cruise takes up ballet in earnest and proves to be so talented the Bolshei Ballet
commissions an entire ballet series around her, using Suri's astonishly innovative choreography.
Becoming a worldwide phenomenon ("cruising" to success?), sales of her posters shatter those of Farrah.
Ryan O'Neil gets out of his post-Farrah depressive funk after a date with the Octomom. Falling madly in love,
the two quickly wed and then get a reality TV show, which is higher-rated than even the Kardashians'.
Regarding Kardashians: Khloe joins a conservative Fundamendalist sect and thus spurns their publicity-seeking,
bikini-bearing, money-seeking ways to concentrate on home, hearth and her husband hunk
Needless to say, her sisters are NOT pleased.
George Clooney meets yet another woman he's crazy about and can't choose between her and his present lady-love.
So he becomes a Mormon and marries them both, only to learn that Mormons don't really do that any more.
Jennifer Aniston renounces dating, men and show business altogether, becomes a devout Catholic and joins a
Carmelite Order of contemplative nuns in upper Delaware.
Renee Zellwegger gains 50 pounds to star in yet another "Bridget" movie, but finds she then can't
take the weight off so easily. Jenny Craig swoops in and offers help. She takes them up on it, finally
ditching the weight. Vows she: "Never again -- Bridget be hanged!"
President Barack Obama mysteriously disappears for two weeks, Joe foot-in-mouth Biden acting as Commander
in Chief. The news media/public go wild, searching and positing alarmist theories of an Al-Queda
kidnapping. The mystery's finally solved when the White House chef goes to the potato closet for some spuds
and discovers the guy was locked down there (sans cell phone/computer)! Needless to say, mashed potatoes are never
served again during Obama's term. (Methinks Barack needs a new smoking hideout?)
As a lark, an HLN news editor debuts a "Joy Behar" doll replete with flaming red hair and lips, waving arms,
and incessantly repeating, "I mean, who cares?!" But astonishly, the doll is a huge hit with kids and
adults alike, making buck bucks for countless discount stores.
House Minority Leader John Boener enters rehab for his heretofore secret gambling addiction. Talk show
host Stephanie Miller is devastated, as she can't attack "the Boner" for a good three months or so.
The War on Terrorism gets a major boost when it's discovered that playing Sarah Palin's whiny voice
at loud decibels gets even hardened suspects to 'fess up astonishly well. Terrorists close-mouthed
at being cigarette-burned or water-boarded simply cannot bear this, wailing: "Okay, I'll talk.
Just make it stop!... Make it stop!"
Prince Charles writes a best-selling book, "Your Plants Will Talk -- But will you listen?" Proceeds
go to the Association for Battered Houseplants.
Prince William truly astonishes the world by eloping with his Kate in Mexico and abdicating from the throne in favor
of brother Harry. Queen Elizabeth is truly fit to be tied, her stiff upper lip becoming even stiffer.
Oprah Winfrey dons on a skimpy, spangled two-piece costume and makes a "Belly Dancing for Dummies" video,
in a game attempt to earn more money for her foundation; after seeing it, an aghast
Middle Eastern dance foundation offers her a million bucks NOT to produce it. She accepts.
The planet Mercury explodes after leaked chemicals from a Rover-like explorer permeate its surface. A red-faced
NASA vows to be "more careful" next time.
Extra-terrestrials disguised as humans land in a small Nebraska town, look around but quickly leave,
exasperated at the lack of intelligent life.
Washington, D.C. society is shocked when Jill Biden and Lindsey Graham quit their jobs, divorce their spouses
and move in together in a Mississippi trailer park. Poor V.P. Joe Biden keeps on repeating,
"Was it something I said?!"
Dick Cheney, in a coma, reveals disturbing aspects of his past lives as a Nazi camp guard and Attila the
Hun.
Jay Leno, toying with his old car collection, discovers how to run motors -- cleanly -- with a ground espresso/
antihistamine/copper-silver alloy mixture. He singlehandedly saves not only General Motors but the American economy.
Yet he's still not totally happy 'cause of losing his nightly show time slot. (Go figure.)
Britney Spears is dumped by her new boyfriend, has a breakdown and re-shaves her head, swearing off men for good.
Her vow lasts only two weeks before tabloid pics reveal a NEW guy -- Jesus, Madonna's now-discarded boy toy.
(He sure gets around.)
A cocker spaniel in New Jersey is taught how to talk and play Chinese checkers.
The Obama dog, Bo, becomes a vegetarian.
A new type of therapy, "dark" therapy (patients stare at BLACK lights) is found to cure OCD AND
schizophrenia.
Chelsea Clinton thrives in her new marriage but quits her job in disgust. She finds career fulfillment as
a champion race car driver.
Shaq O'Neil is forced to quit basketball due to a knee injury. But he's groomed to be the male Oprah, however,
doing surprisingly well at the talk show circuit.
The public decides it's had quite enough of: Susan Boyle (one thumb-sucking incident and "Dream" song too
many); the Jackson brothers (smiling/heart aching or no, Jermaine); Octomom (but do leave your womb to
science); anything re: Heather McCartney; vampires (bloody hell, anyway); celebrities who claim
they've had NOTHING done to beautiful, thin, wrinkle-free faces/bodies (yeah, right); upper body shots
of Matthew McConoughy and his ever-pregnant girlfriend; and love lives AND "careers"
of Kate Hudson, Jon Gosselin and Jessica Simpson.
Stephanie Sarich
Fatima
I was just scratching my crystal balls and I predict that Fatima is wrong.
SSarich's predictions
Oddly enough, I wouldn't be surprised if any, ir even all, of those predictions came true.
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