Is food (specifically, a bacon bra) really the way to a man's heart?

Hey Nicky—

What's the deal with the bacon bra? I always heard that food is the best way to a man's heart...but I don't know about this one.

-Becky

Dear Becky,

The idea for the bacon bra began, simply, with my love for bacon. I read a few bacon blogs and people send me links to everything they see on the Internet relating to bacon. One day I saw some raw bacon bras and I thought they were pretty gross, because, um, raw bacon? Not appetizing! But I liked the idea of the bacon bra. I love fashion, I love bacon, so why not wear bacon? I wanted to make a cooked bacon bra so I posted the idea to Titter (yes, Titter) and then came the challenge. Someone didn't think I could do it! If you tell me I can't do something, I sure as hell am going to do it! The bacon bra was then created. Actually, the one you see on my Web site is version 2.0; the first one was a greasy disaster.

The bacon bra wasn't a way to pick up men. The bacon bra has nothing to do with men. And truthfully, the bacon beard I wore to the MN Beard-Off resulted in much more man-tention than the bra has. (At least from actual real-live men, as opposed to the ones who live on the Internets.)

There are quite a few bacon-loving men, and more generally, food-loving men. But hey, I live for food. Food is probably the way to my heart. So if we're going to say that food is the best way to a man's heart, I think we also have to say that it's the best way to a woman's heart, right? I certainly love a man who will cook for me and I find it crucial to date men who share my eclectic and adventurous taste in food.

But this leads me to a question: Why do all dates revolve around food and drink?

If I keep going on dates for dinner, or adult beverages, or both, I'm not going to be able to fit into my wardrobe anymore. If food is the way to someone's heart, will we still want to get to his or her heart when all this heart-winning leads to an inability to wear anything but sweatpants? Sweatpants aren't sexy. Dashing women and dapper gents don't wear sweatpants!

So, ladies and gentlemen, while food actually may be the quickest way to our hearts, let's take a little more time to get there and have some active, healthy dates. Instead of "hey, let's go for a burger," ask him if he wants to join you for a rousing game of badminton. Want to buy her a whiskey? Maybe instead, challenge her to a hula-hooping contest.

May your heart be healthy, your stomach full, and your breasts covered with bacon,

Nicky