The September Chutzpah Awards

by Myles Spicer, 9/22/08 • And the winners are…

There are some words, in some languages, which defy meaning when translated to English. Such a word is chutzpah, one of the many Yiddish words that have been adopted into our language. Generally it means: “nerve, gall, outrageous behavior”. Thus defined, I am now prepared to offer my September awards for the “the month’s most outrageous chutzpah”: The Chutzpah Awards. Usually, such monthly awards would be given at the end of each month – but with the presidential race in full swing, it was determined there was enough chutzpah flying around the airwaves, the press, and other venues, that the award is being made early. Let’s look at the winners:

Fourth Place:
Our Fourth Place winner actually is not a political statement. It comes from the Star Tribune’s Saturday, Sept. 20th article on the Business Pages from the paper’s business writer, Neal St. Anthony with a headline: “As the markets shake out, things may not be nearly as bad as they seem.” Huh? Three of the 5 largest brokerage firms just disappeared, and the other two are hanging on by a thread; one of the world’s largest insurance companies is in the toilet; taxpayers are putting up $700 Billion to save our economy; and Alan Greenspan has publicly stated this is a once or twice in a century catastrophe! What am I missing about this being very, very, very, very BAD? Fourth Prize to Mr. St. Anthony.

Third Place
Actually, a tie: two comments from two different individuals on the same topic: John McCain and (Third District congressional candidate) Erik Paulsen. McCain has clearly blamed Barack Obama for the entire mess – saying something to the effect that he was in the middle of those greedy Wall Street bastards who perpetrated this on the poor American taxpayer. Of course Obama has, after all, been in the Senate for a couple of years, so why not blame him? But, it does take chutzpah.

On the other hand, Paulsen blames Congress for the mess, quietly ignoring the fact that Bush and his buddies controlled all the levers of power in our government for six years; and still hold sway over the financial decisions. These chutzpah contenders should get their act together if they want to win next month. In fact, McCain almost lost the prize until he called for the firing of the SEC chairman, which vaulted him up to this third place position.

Second Place
This was a toughie, but the winner is … Sarah Palin. The reason it was tough is because the chutzpah involved a very tiresome and worn down subject: stopping the bridge to nowhere. However, the award is not being given because of that claim; it is because Palin had the chutzpah to continue to make the claim, even after it has been discredited over and over again. This takes chutzpah to the max, and thus the award. It should be noted, however, that when we notified her of the award, she gracefully declined, saying: “Thanks…but no thanks”.

Runner Up Surprise, surprise – it is John McCain again! Obviously the big winner this month. This time for his many different comments on the economic meltdown. You see, when you achieve multiple chutzpahs, they compound to help you win. After noting, “The economy is fundamentally strong…it is not strong…the workers are strong…fire the FEC (he meant SEC) chairman…fire Obama….regulate…don’t regulate…don’t give AIG a dime…give AIG $85 billion…get rid of those greedy Wall St. guys” — or whatever, you can see why he is a winner. With this activity, McCain also became a candidate for winning the lifetime Farmisht Award – but that’s another award, another Yiddish translation, and another story.

The Winner!
This is a stunner, and back to the Star Trib of September 20, and Charles Krauthammer’s extraordinary Washington Post op-ed, “History will vindicate this man.” And who would that that bright light be? None other than George W. Bush!

Astounding is the only word to describe this claim, and certainly worthy of the Chutzpah Award of the month, and candidate for the annual award as well. George W. Bush: the man who practically destroyed our economy with lack of oversight and terrible policies; led us into an unending war with massive deceit; had a regime filled with corruption; eroded our civil liberties; departs office leaving the taxpayers with a $9 trillion debt (and rising); and degraded our international standing to possibly the lowest point in our history.

But that alone would not have won Krauthammer the award. What topped off his winning was his outrageous comparison of Bush to Harry Truman. To paraphrase a well-known quote: “I knew Harry Truman, and George Bush is no Harry Truman.” In terms of ethics, performance and stewardship of the two men, Krauthammer stretched chutzpah to new levels, thus the achieving the winning score.

Well, those are the winners, folks. Normally, such awards would be given annually, but nowadays events seem to have accelerated the need. In fact, the judges are even discussing daily awards, considering the massive amount of chutzpah now being generated. Further, they are also now considering several new awards added to the newly minted lifetime Farmisht Award, including the prized Farfolen Trophy, and the Farblondzhet Prize for confused thinking. Stay tuned!