MN VOICES | MayKao Hang talks about Hmong culture, clans and women

“Girls are not encouraged to pursue education…They aren’t even told they can have dreams,” Hang said. It's kinda sad to see some of the highly educated Hmong woman to magnify beyond the limits of truth in an efford to promote themself and confirm their archievement. Their exaggerate stories are stolen from the experience of girl / woman in the Hmong community in Laos prior to 1975. It's so wrong.

Not to diminish this wonderful recognition for a Hmong leader -- but the article was too quick to generalize an entire community based on century-old values and traditions. Historically, Hmong women were not seen as equals to men. However, the writer failed to note that this is no longer true for many Hmong families in America. Hmong women are given opportunities to succeed. Statistics show that more Hmong women graduate from high school and college than Hmong men. I think it's fair to say that these great accomplishments would not have happened without the support of parents. For those who plan to write more articles on the Hmong -- PLEASE, check and double check your facts and usage of words because generalizations can hurt an entire community.

Wow, ain't this article a crock of bull. So is this talented hmong woman. My wife who is also Hmong has the support of my parents as well as hers. My parents love the idea that her goals are to become a Registered Nurse and highly support her dreams and her goal. Every time we talk to them they are always asking how her education is going and how is mines as well as my kids. Sounds like this article needs to do research. The Hmong lady who even allowed this article to come out should be ashamed of herself. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but to force this opinion or thought of hers to the rest of the Hmong is just irresponsible.

I wonder, if she ever realized that exaggerate such a story to promoted herself make her parents look bad. In my opinion, if she experience what she said, her parents must be the worst of the worst of all Hmong parents in this world. If this is the case, she do have the right to speak about her experience with her parents.

“Girls are not encouraged to pursue education…They aren’t even told they can have dreams” This may be true in her family or those whom she knows of, but definitely not in my family. I do believe "some" Hmong family are still extremely traditional and expect less of their daughters, but (hopefully) not necessarily to a point where education is never an option. These parents, no matter how traditional they are, know of the hardship surviving in America without any education. Why would they discourage their children to pursue education? My parents, uncles, and cousins all came to the US because they seek better opportunity for their children--whether they be sons or daughters. They highly encourage us all to pursue our educations and make better livings. I believe Ms. Hang's statement is a bit outdated and biased. However, I do wish the best and sympathize for the young and older Hmong women whose dreams and goals are limited as a result of their extreme traditional upbringing. It is good to know that someone is advocating for these women, however, please don't over generalize to the point where the statement come to falsely generalize all Hmong women--or Hmong for that matter.

It is true that all Hmong parents support and encourage education for all their children including girls because they see education as the key out of poverty. However, there is a small group of Hmong women (or they could still be girls) who are being kept from going to school. They are the young wives of Hmong American men who've returned to Laos or Thailand to marry. Ms. Hang's story may sound outdated but the cultural practice and thinking is still alive for an older generation of men. Of course, there is also a growing number of Hmong American women marrying young Hmong men from the old country. Because men have more power, they often ditch their older wives for a younger one here after coming to the US. Sometimes, the husband can "return" his older wife, which means a divorce in Hmong, or keep her but marry and live with a younger wife. In either case, the older wife does not have much recourse. I've heard Ms. Hang's story before and know it to be a story about her educational experience and how girls traditionally didn't get to attend school because their families couldn't afford it or it was thought that their investment would leave the family or clan once she is married. So when Ms. Hang was attending college (nearly 20 years ago) her aunt supported her with a small stipend every month because her family couldn't afford to send her money. Ms. Hang's life story is quite inspirational. Unfortunately, this article did not tell the story accurately as it's always the case with people from the outside writing about the Hmong. They don't know how to ask good follow up questions so they can understand how the story truly is being told by the interviewee. Perhaps, Ms. Hang also was not well prepared for the interview as well and told it in a way that assumes the reporter had the same assumptions as she did. One of the things that many Hmong people, especailly leaders, find themselves doing most is telling the whole story of the Hmong or providing context before they tell their own story. I'm sure that was the case with the interview which is how the reporter came to qute her for the contextual background information rather that her personal story. Please don't judge her negatively because of how poorly the article was written.

It's hypocritical for Hmong people to listen to their mothers tell of a time when Hmong girls were not allowed to go to school but will not allow for a younger generation Hmong woman to talk about the same cultural context for her to grow up in. While Hmong parents today support girls and boys to get an education, the traditional thinking has not changed especially in more traditional families. It is true more Hmong girls are graduating from high school and going to college but we also have a very high drop out rate among girls and boys who attend college. To assert the assumption that girls are better off now takes away from the true story that while more girls are graduating from college, those who are dropping out are not supported by their parents or in-laws for the same reasons that plagued out mothers and grandmthers. Rather than attack Ms. Hang, we should take care to really think about whether we are satisfied with the number of girls graduating from college and find what the root causes are for women who are dropping out of college. It's not helpful to the Hmong or perception of the Hmong by attacking Ms. Hang without offering some well informed perspective on how education has changed or not changed Hmong women and girls.

I do think the article was poorly written but that does not mean we discredit Maykao Hang for all the work she has done for the betterment of our community. We must keep in mind that Maykao grew up during a time that many Hmong women and girls were encouraged to get marry at the age of 13 and 14 rather then to pursue higher education. She grew up during a time where the Hmong community did not want to speak out on violence against women and girls..and she did! She stood up for what she believed in and she developed ways to reach out to Hmong women and girls in these situations. Instead of focusing on the one quote that some of you here are throwing out of proportion, we should really acknowledge and congratulate her for her contributions to the Hmong community.

YES, many more Hmong women are pursuing higher education. BUT did you stop to think that maybe it's because of HER that there are MORE Hmong women in higher education now then ever before????

If our parents and we continue to tell our story about the Hmong's involvement with the CIA but we live in America now and are no longer threatened by communists, does that mean we have over come the war? And then we talk about our struggles here but it's no longer true for us, does it mean we stop talking about it because it doesn't apply to us anymore, especially to the second generation? Access to education for girls and women should be celebrated, as Maykao Hang's story attempted to do. Hmong Americans, especially women and girls, should never forget that their eve ancestors didn't have access to education. Don't take it for granted but celebrate it and encourage all Hmong girls and women to go to school no matter how old they are. When a woman is lifted out of poverty so does her family and many more generations after.

I know my mother and her mother, and her mother’s mother, etc. were not allowed to go to school because it was considered a wasteful investment. I know I am privileged to go to school and get an education. I know there are not enough Hmong women graduating from college today. I know we could do more to get Hmong women to attend college and help keep them in school, every Hmong woman should have a college degree. I know education is one of the most effective tools to lift people out of poverty. I know there is a growing divide between the haves and have-nots in my community, there are people left behind languishing in poverty. I know my mother’s struggles without an education. I know the sadness and heartbreak my mother felt when she was passed over for an education. I know I will not forget my mother’s legacy and honor her struggles for an education. Will you honor her too?

Of what Ms.Hang got to say is frequently true...I believe that every women can follow there dreams..

I agree there are many Hmong American families who fully support their children (daughters included) when it comes to a higher education and whatever else is needed, however on the other hand some old ways of thinking still does exist. As we Hmong evolve and become westernized, the traditional ways are slowly fading away along with the good and the bad. Born here in the US, the culture clash was a big challenge growing up. Now that I'm 32, I'm as banana as any Asian (Hmong, included) can be. I'm 32 and I myself, along with many Hmong American women my age, were, at the age of 12, 13, 14 or 15, pressured into traditional marriage to save face. Of course not all US Hmong families pressured their daughters to get married when they went out on a date with a boy, but this did happen, and I'm so glad its not happening today as often as it was back then, and hopefully, eventually, this pressure to save face will dissolve completely. In any event, like most of the Hmong American women my age who got married during their early teen years, my so called "marriage" was definitely not a healthy one, and once it ended, i pretty much was outcasted by relatives and even my own family. Instead of dwelling on this and asking why I went ahead and moved forward into my future and pretty much never looked back. Unfortunately part of my moving forward excluded my regard for the Hmong ways. I am now a single mom in San Francisco and unfortunately my only Hmong contact is with a really good girlfriend of mine and with my family here and there and when I do see them its only for a couple of hours or so, as if they were just casual friends. I know who I am and know I'm Hmong. I just hope my past won't be repeated by any more Hmong American women, as that would be a shame.

After quickly scanning a handful of comments herewith, all I could think was what a bunch of crabs in a barrel. Don't know if it's good writing or bad writing...it's solid reporting. Ok a little editorial...BUT SO WHAT!! What are you; envious or just plane ole jealous? I must admit...this saddens me. I am certainly not MayKao's cheerleader (Don't think I am anyway.) or anything of the kind. But I can certainly appreciate her struggle. My best wishes to you MayKao Hang and may you continue to do your work as a universal healer. It will take all of us. Thank you for doing your small part. You are not the first and you will not be the last. Please let us not forget that when one of us is lifted up we ALL are lifted up...not just Hmong or Somali or Russian. It's about all of us.

i think that MayKao has pointed out some very good views towards the hmong people..it very true that then we hmong girls didnt get the chance to follow our dreams..until now, and the thought of it we hmong women do achieve our education but then in reality when it comes to dealing with a sitution we dont have a voice in it at all...when the guys debate on a problem such as a affiar marriage the men gets to choose whos right or wrong us women has no vocie in saying anything, most hmong women cant even control there husband, or every daughter in law have to play there role when there around there husband side because they dont wont to be look at as a lazy daughter in law...i think that Mrs.Hang did a good job, its just that there wasnt enough infomation to show why she said that, it not her it the person who wrote the article. I disagree with many of you people who wrote really mean things..this is why we hmong people can never get along we dont care for one hard work, we make everything a big deal, thats why theres so many death in hmong people because were stright dumb for killing one another because of a color as a example. quote "hmong girls goes to school and hmong boys end up getting lock up!"

Yes, she may be growing up in an older era; currently today Hmong women and young teenage girls are encouraged to attend school and get their education.  It was before in Laos and Thailand that women or young girls did not have the opportunity to attend school.  Investments in sons vs. daughters, yes it was true back then...it was because of the lack of money to pay for school. 

Ask any parents now if they would still encourage their young daughters to get married at the age of 14 or 15.  I highly doubt that they will say yes. 

 

I agree with Maykao. why married at a age when you don't know how to cook and clean. You can't even cook for your own family then why get married. His son loves you but his parents is going to be very disappointed. When you heard your in laws talking about you to her relatives that you're lazy and that you don't do nothing at all. Then you realize its too late. You can't turn back the time and live with your parents because you're not part of the family no more. If you return then you will ruin your family's name. Some girls come back to live with their parents but some chosen to stay because they care about their family and they don't want them to lose their face.

Congradualation!  Congradualation! Congradualation!

These views are extremely out-dated and exaggerated. My husband, who is Hmong is completely open-minded. Whenever we get together with his Hmong friends, it really fortifies how old and inaccurate these views are. It's great that she has pushed for education among Hmong women, but by sending such an inaccurate view of how Hmong men and women actually live today, it belittles the culture to say that these old views are the majority of the Hmong Americans. I find that my Hmong colleagues, the ones who are women feel demeaning for them to see that people think the Hmong culture discourages Hmong women from obtaining higher education and that all they need is to learn how to cook and clean. For the young Hmong American couples, it's usually the wife that's encouraged to continue with education while the husband works and supports the family financially. Once the wife completes her education the husband will then continue his. There is a complete misunderstanding of why among Hmong couples why the wife goes to school while the husband doesn't. This is what I hear from my Hmong girlfriends.

Looking from the outside, as a white American, I see that there is culture pressure for both genders in the Hmong community. Men have as much pressure as women do, and that's simply because they carry the Hmong name which gets passed that's strongly associated with the clan. Besides the clan my husband has also mentioned to me the rules of engagement among family meetings and gatherings that he has to learn. Things such as weddings and funerals. He has told me he felt powerless and demeaned when he didn't understand these rules of engagement. I finally realize that Hmong men have just as much pressure to carry on their heritage as Hmong women do.

The Hmong as an ethnic group in Asia has never had a strong tie in an academic system. As they immigrated in to America, a culture strongly rooted in education, it became hard for them to adjust. Both Hmong men and women were first discouraged to pursuit higher education. Women for staying home and being a house wife and for men to work and support the family and neither had encouragement to educate themselves. As the community adjust, I truly believe both genders have the opportunity for high education.

The unfortunate thing I see now is that Hmong men are falling behind in higher education. I've heard from my Hmong girl friends that marry outside their community have stated the authoritarian views the culture presumes to have as the main reason why. I find it rather sad because leaving the problem is not the way to solve a problem. Because of these events, it's really understated that Hmong men actually have more pressure to keep their heritage than Hmong women. My husband often feels cast out from his clan because he married me, but I've always assured him things will change as people become more educated. I can't wait to see how my children will be able to fit in. I believe they won't have much trouble when their generation comes to prominence.

Well people as you can see she has been through that experince and that is what she was told when she was married and before that too. Who is to say that she is wrong. I believe that everyone should have equal rights wither your a girl or guy. Come on were all hmong no need to put each other down like that. I believe that we need to work together instead of  putting others down. She is just trying to help out here. Sure maybe not everything she said is correct but thats just what she went through in her life. Alot of things are changing now and the hmong people are slowly raising in education and stautes too both male and female. Things change with time we'll just have to see what happens next people.